Boardash: Women for Tuesday October 6, 2009

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Women
For You
Tuesday October 6, 2009

Health and Beauty Tip -- Exfoliate Before Makeup
U.N. creates post for women caught in war
Annie's Mailbox
Quote of the Day
Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com

Health and Beauty Tip -- Exfoliate Before Makeup

Many women skip a very important step in their makeup routing: exfoliate! Use a gentle exfoliant (there are many made just for the face) beforehand, and you'll find that makeup, moisturizer, and concealer go on more easily ... and look better, too!

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U.N. creates post for women caught in war

UNITED NATIONS (UPI) -- The U.N. Security Council Wednesday approved a resolution creating a coordinator who will focus on ending sexual violence during and after armed conflict.

"The resolution we passed today represents a step forward in our global efforts to end violence perpetrated against women and children in conflict zones," said U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who led the Security Council meeting.

"It is an important issue that goes to the core of our commitment to ensure the safety of the United Nations member-states and their citizens," Clinton said in her remarks before the Security Council.

She noted the council has responsibility for maintaining international peace and security.

"Now, satisfying that responsibility includes us to protect the lives and physical security of all people, including the women who comprise half the planet's population," she said.

U.S. President Barack Obama praised the unanimous vote, saying in a statement, "Today, the United States joins with the international community in sending a simple and unequivocal message: violence against women and children will not be tolerated and must be stopped."

He noted the resolution "focuses on one of the most abhorrent features of modern war: the use of rape as a weapon, and other forms of sexual violence against women and children."

The resolution establishes a system of technical experts to work with the new coordinator and support U.N. in-country teams and peacekeeping missions in addressing sexual violence.

It also asks the U.N. secretary-general to examine gaps in the organization's response to sexual violence so the Security Council can address them. Such problems could include lack of expertise on sexual violence and gender issues, or lack of support for incorporating women participating in procedures for peace talks.

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Annie's Mailbox

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: My husband and I have been together for more than 20 years. This is my second marriage. "Tony" has been a wonderful stepfather to my sons. All three are grown and doing well. Two are very happily married.

When the boys were young adults, my husband and I would always pick up the bill if we went out anywhere. Even after they started their own careers, we continued to pay for things because we knew money was tight for them. The problem is, even though they all are doing well now, the pattern continues.

I was laid off earlier this year, and it's no longer so simple to treat them. All three boys know I lost my job, yet we recently went out to eat and not one of them offered to split the tab.

How do I deal with this? I don't want to appear stingy, and I suspect this is not a conscious thing on their part. They live out of state and I don't see them often, so I'd like to avoid hard feelings. Any suggestions? -- Not So Rich Mom

Dear Not So Rich: You can do this two ways. You can stop taking them to places where they will expect you to treat them, or you can be honest and explain that you can no longer afford the luxury of playing Mommy Warbucks. We recommend the latter, but don't hit them over the head with it. "We'd love to take you for dinner, but since I lost my job, our budget just won't allow it." This gives them the opportunity to offer to pay. If it doesn't occur to them to do so, at least they will understand why they are eating in.

Dear Annie: I am expecting a baby in two months and was recently given a baby shower.

My sister-in-law and extended in-laws all went in together to purchase a bedding set for the crib. I purposely didn't register for this particular gift because I knew it would not fit the crib we have selected.

I called my sister-in-law and explained the situation, thanked her for the gesture and asked if she would mind if I exchanged the bedding for a set that fit. She became extremely upset and said I was disrespectful and thoughtless. She even went so far as to say she is cutting me out of her life.

Did I do something wrong? Can you help fix this? -- Baby Shower Disaster

Dear Disaster: You are not at fault. Gifts can be returned or exchanged by the recipient for any reason whatsoever. Your only mistake was informing your oversensitive sister-in-law. In order to make it right, send each participant an individual thank-you note, gushing about how beautiful the bedding set was and apologizing for exchanging it for a different size, saying you wanted to show it off in the best light. Make sure you express your sincere appreciation for their thoughtfulness and generosity. Time -- and a new baby -- will help this pass.

Dear Annie: I am responding to "Unhappy Mom," who objected to her 19-year-old daughter's long-distance relationship with a young Mormon man.

I met my husband shortly after joining the LDS (Mormon) Church. We only dated a few weeks before I moved back home after college graduation. He and I continued to date via letters and long-distance calls. When we visited, we would each stay at a church member's home. This was a true courtship, and I had no doubts when I said "yes" to his sweet proposal.

I don't understand this mother's complaint about her daughter having a wholesome relationship. Why is she rushing her daughter into a permanent relationship so young? -- Tallahassee LDS Mom

Dear Tallahassee: A long-distance relationship can allow the couple to build a closer friendship, which is a good thing. But we also understand a mother worrying that her daughter is committed to a boy she has not seen in a year. Still, at 19, the choice is hers.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Quote of the Day

Seneca (5 BC - 65 AD)

We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.

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