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| Human Resources & The 7 Dwarfs In every Human Resources report, there is a reason for termination. There are so many possibilities, that we have narrowed the list down to the 7 dwarfs. Here they are:
Happy: Had trouble putting nose to the grindstone. Too much time spent telling jokes at the water cooler.
Doc: Left to pursue further schooling, in particular, Ph.D. work.
Sleepy: Chronically late for work. Caused many project delays.
Grumpy: Poor attitude toward work. Not a team player. Trouble with early mornings.
Dopey: Made several critical errors at work costing the company money, e.g., misappropriated company funds.
Sneezy: Recurrent, chronic illness has made it difficult for the employee to complete work in a timely fashion.
Bashful: Lack of initiative. Not willing to make cold calls. Too often let workplace disagreements simmer.
OTHERS
Jealous Queen: Heavy involvement in the occult not congruent with organizational policies.
Snow White: Misconduct, e.g., kissing strange men while under some kind of trance.
Huntsman: Couldn't stand to be cooped up in the office all day. Pursuing work with the National Forest Service.
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| New Lyrics While listening to an oldies radio station, my six-year-old evidently got the 60's mixed up with the 21st century...
Instead of singing along,
"Goin' to the chapel
And we're gonna get married,"
I heard him sing,
"Goin' to the chat room
And we're gonna get married." |
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| Hard Working? A business owner decides to take a tour around his business and see how things are going. He goes down to the shipping docks and sees a young man leaning against the wall doing nothing.
The owner walks up to the young man and says, "Son, how much do you make a day?"
The guy replies, "150 dollars."
The owner pulls out his wallet, gives him $150, and tells him to get out and never come back.
A few minutes later the shipping clerk says to the boss, "Have you seen that UPS driver? I left him standing around here?"
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| Toddler Property Laws 1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If it's in my hand, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine.
8. If I think it's mine, it's mine.
9. If I... Oops! I'm sorry, I goofed! Instead of typing in the Toddler Property Laws, I've been typing in Bill Gates' primary business plan.
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| Book Reviews from the Washington Post Looking for something new to read? Let the reviewers at the Washington Post help you choose!
The Washington Post Book Reviews ezine features opinions on the newest offerings at your local library and bookstore -- see what the top critics have to say, and pick out new reading material for the spring and summer!
Subscribe to Washington Post Book Reviews instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
And visit the ArcaMax Book Club to read classic books free by e-mail!
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
| To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
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Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
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