| Sylvia Rimm Q: I am extremely concerned about my 2-year-old nephew. My sister-in-law is a loving mother overall, but she is making some mistakes with regard to her son. I have offered some suggestions, however they were not received well. I'm hoping that she may pay attention if I receive advice from you. Here are my concerns:
Concern No. 1: My sister-in-law only puts her 2-year-old son to bed at 2 a.m. Since he was a child, he has had trouble going to sleep, but she has not led him into a healthy sleeping pattern. He wakes up between 8 a.m. and 10:30 a.m. looking very tired, and later in the day he gets extremely aggressive.
Concern No. 2: My sister-in-law has not established any form of a schedule with regard to when her son has breakfast, lunch or dinner. At times, it seems like he needs to cry and complain before his mother finally figures out it's time to feed him. I have seen his mother feed him a bowl of candy before giving him breakfast. She gives him fruit and whipped cream for breakfast, and at midnight every night, she feeds him a Little Debbie brownie for his "midnight snack."
I am very concerned about this child as he suffers from multiple food and environmental allergies and is sleep deprived. I can only imagine what this infusion of junk and sugary foods is doing to his immune system. Unfortunately, she does not see any of this as a problem, and her parents reinforce this behavior.
Could you please advise? I am so concerned and don't want to be critical of her, but I'm just looking out for the best interest of this precious boy.
A: If what you say is accurate, you're certainly correct about your sister-in-law's poor parenting skills. Encouraging a child to eat healthfully and regularly as well as to get sufficient sleep are basic guiding principles. The fact that grandma is in agreement suggests that this mom is repeating a pattern from her own childhood. Unfortunately, you're probably limited in influencing her except by example. You don't mention that you have children, but if you do, she might observe some of your patterns and emulate them better if you gave no specific advice. There's also a chance you could talk to your brother about your concerns and he could convey a health-conscious message. If there's a good parenting class in your community, that might be helpful.
Preschool attendance would help. When children begin preschool, their parents often talk with other parents about their children and learn from them. Also, there's the necessity of getting children up early for preschool, which in turn encourages an earlier bedtime. Of course, sweets for a midnight snack will manage to keep even adults awake for too long.
You've emphasized that your sister-in-law is a loving mother overall. Do consider that love goes a long way. Your nephew will indeed have some problems if he's not accustomed to reasonable routines and healthy eating. It may not be until that point when his mother will seek help from a psychologist, who will guide her in correcting some of these serious problems. We can hope that your sister-in-law will get on track when she watches other mothers parenting their children more healthfully.
My book, "Raising Preschoolers," could be a gift she might find helpful. For free newsletters about discipline or raising preschoolers, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
----
|
| Get free printable custom bookmarks at ArcaMax Publishing's newest site, BookDaily.com! BookDaily offers more than 80,000 first chapter book samples -- for free.
Here's a listing of the top five bookmarks that have been printed out so far at BookDaily.com (you won't see the links for the bookmarks until you're logged in or create a free account. It's easy!):
Twilight (Twilight, Book 1), by Stephanie Meyer
On Writing Well, 30th Anniversary Edition: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction, by William Zinsser
Just Like Heaven, by Marc Levy
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, by Stieg Larsson
The Lost Symbol, by Dan Brown
Once you set up a BookDaily account and login, you'll find a link on every book on the site offering a free printable bookmark, including the book's cover, title and author. Print as many as you'd like!
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
