Friday, January 29, 2010

Today's Jokes Plus Get a FREE Blackberry Storm

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by:

It's finally here...

The new Blackberry(R) Storm(TM) has arrived & it's yours FREE!

The new BlackBerry(R) Storm(TM) isn't your typical PDA Smartphone.
This device has all the latest features including a Touchscreen,
Video Recorder, Wireless Email, Mobile Streaming, 3.2 MP Camera,
Media Player and you get the new BlackBerry(R) Maps.

Stay on the cutting edge of technology with your FREE Blackberry(R) Storm(TM)!

Click here for details...

 

Patience

A man observed a woman in the grocery store with a three year old girl in her basket. As they passed the cookie section, the child asked for cookies and her mother told her "no." The little girl immediately began to whine and fuss, and the mother said quietly, "Now Ellen, we just have half of the aisles left to go through; don't be upset. It won't be long."

He passed the Mother again in the candy aisle. Of course, the little girl began to shout for candy. When she was told she couldn't have any, she began to cry. The mother said, "There, there, Ellen, don't cry. Only two more aisles to go, and then we'll be checking out."

The man again happened to be behind the pair at the check-out, where the little girl immediately began to clamor for gum and burst into a terrible tantrum upon discovering there would be no gum purchased today.

The mother patiently said, "Ellen, we'll be through this check out stand in five minutes, and then you can go home and have a nice nap."

The man followed them out to the parking lot and stopped the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how patient you were with little Ellen..."

The mother broke in, "My little girl's name is Tammy... I'm Ellen."

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

HeelTastic

Heel-Tastic is an intensive heel therapy that will
Soothe, Relieve and Soften heels and feet! It penetrates
deep to the source to soothe dry skin. It also works great
for rough knees, dry, itchy elbows, even cuticles!

Buy One Get One FREE for only $10 PLUS you'll get a
Bonus 10-piece grooming kit FREE...Order now!

"Smooth Operator"

Bumping into a woman on the sidewalk, the Tom Cruise look- alike apologized, "Pardon me!"

"That's quite all right," the woman replied. "You look just like my fourth husband."

"Wow!" he said. "How many times have you been married?"

She winked at him and said, "Three."

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

Mom and Dad Need Your Help?

They can't stay home alone anymore and living with
you isn't really working out...

What will it be? A Retirement Community or a Nursing Home?

Maybe you're considering assisted living or other
possibilities to make your loved one more comfortable,
productive, safe and happy.

You Don't Have to Do This Alone...
Free Info and more here - Click Now.

Volvo for Women

Volvo has unveiled an auto designed by women for women called the YCC, 'Your Concept Car.' Among its cutting-edge femifeatures:

-- Turn signals that are able to change their mind at the last minute.

-- An OnStar satellite tracking system that can locate, on command, all retail outlets within 500 miles

-- Permanent press fenders.

-- A dashboard voice console that's programmed to ask strangers for directions.

-- Side mirrors that make the driver appear slimmer than she actually is.

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

CHEERIOS - FREE* SAMPLE!

Original - Frosted - Honey Nut...

Select your Favorite - GET 2 BOXES FREE*!

It's the Cheerio Challenge! Vote for your favorite
flavor Cheerios and get 2 BOXES FREE*. Simple!

Just take our survey & complete the participation
requirements. Lower Your Cholesterol by 4% in just 6 weeks.

Get Started & Pick Your SAMPLES!

Trouble with R's

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.'' In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud.

The boy nervously eyed his classmates--many of them already laughing at him--then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com

Be sure to check out one of ArcaMax's hottest features, BookDaily.com!

Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later.

You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more.

Visit BookDaily.com now.

-- From the ArcaMax editors

To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.

ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success.

To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg

ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details.

We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers

Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address:
duncanjax@gmail.com

Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates.

SUBSCRIBING

To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg

UNSUBSCRIBING

To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link

Having Trouble?

You may also try this link:
http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe
It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email.

ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.
729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard
Suite B
Newport News, VA 23606

Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.