| Sylvia Rimm Q: Can you give your opinion on rewarding good grades with cash? My son's teacher suggested this. Also, I have an older son who is doing well in school, but he has mentioned that he has trouble focusing. Do you have any recommendations to help?
A: Some parents do reward their children's good grades with cash, and typically children love having a little extra money to spend. While motivated achieving children enjoy the reward, I doubt if it makes any difference in how hard they work. They truly want to do well anyway. For underachieving children, rewards for grades are hardly ever effective because they don't usually believe they can get them. Also, they tend to have missing or incomplete assignments which earn F's, thus lowering their grades and causing them to give up.
While you haven't mentioned your son's age, for middle-school age children, small money rewards for getting all weekly assignments in on time can help children organize themselves. They're usually able to manage one week at a time, and then, of course, the grades improve and add up to good grades at the end of the quarter. If they've tried very hard and improved, you can choose to give them a bonus to encourage them, but if you only use the reward for the total quarter, instead of weekly, they only rarely have the confidence and consistency to pull off the successes.
For younger children, daily stickers, points or stars are as effective as cash. Again, they are useful only if attached to good effort and work completion rather than grades. These can be saved toward gifts or a special activity.
Rewarding grades can backfire to cause children to feel pressured if the work seems difficult to them. They make a good start, but the first time they receive a low grade, they give up in despair -- this makes it impossible to raise their grade. You'll find more information on how to help underachievers in my book, "Why Bright Kids Get Poor Grades" (Great Potential Press, 2008).
As to your older son who is struggling with focusing, an evaluation by a psychologist can help you to identify whether he's having an attention problem or a learning problem or is happy for more time in his pre-college testing. You mentioned that he's doing well, but occasionally motivated children can cover up their disabilities until they are older. It's also possible that your son has heard other students talk about attention problems permitting them to get extra time when they take their SAT tests, and he may be worried about them. It's excellent that he's shared his concern with you, so it does make sense to get him the help he needs. It may mean that he does have a good relationship with you. Either way, an evaluation is appropriate.
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Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
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