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| Internet Lingo The language of the internet is full of shortcuts. Some, like LOL (laugh out loud) and KISS(keep It Simple Stupid) have gone mainstream. But new online lingo is always popping up.
AYPI: And Your Point Is?
AWGTHTGTTA: Are We Going to Have to Go Through This Again?
BEG: Big Evil Grin
HHO1/2 K: Ha HA, Only Half Kidding
TYCLO: Turn Your CAPS LOCK OFF!
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| Wonderful Husband Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker- function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.
MAN: "Hello"
WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"
MAN: "Yes"
WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"
MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."
WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."
MAN: "How much?"
WOMAN: "$65,000."
MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."
WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing ...... The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking 950,000."
MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."
WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"
MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment. Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"
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| Getting Gray? One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
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| Class Pictures The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead."
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| Submit Your Gardening Pics As your garden wakes up with the warmer weather, start taking photos and sending them in to the Gardening Photo Gallery!
Share pictures with fellow readers, and vote on your favorites to make them the most popular for the month.
If you have more photos to submit, send them in to the Travel, Pet, and Baby photo galleries.
Subscribe to ArcaMax Gardening instantly for tips, local weather, and more.
Find out more before subscribing.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
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