| Call it "Driving while Misspelled." On the road, I often encounter these signs of our linguistic times
-- License To Kill: Stopped in traffic, I sometimes find myself behind a license plate frame announcing that the car's owner is a University of (Your Alma Mater Here) "Alumni." (I won't name a specific institution here, fearing it will retaliate by putting me on its fundraising list.)
Now I realize, of course, that it's possible two or more owners or drivers of the car, perhaps even an entire family, are graduates of the university in question, which would make "Alumni" correct. But I suspect that, in most cases, only one person associated with the vehicle is an alumnus or alumna of said institution.
True, there's some debate over whether the Latin masculine plural "alumni" should even be used as a general term for both male and female graduates. Some dust-covered classics majors still insist on referring collectively to graduates of a coed institution as "alumni and alumnae."
That issue aside, would it be too much to ask college paraphernalia emporiums (formerly known as bookstores) to produce two versions of these varsity/vanity plates, one reading "Alumnus" and one reading "Alumna"?
Heck, by giving graduates this choice, colleges could raise the price of these "personalized" plates and sell off the old "Alumni" plates to college sweethearts who are still married to each other (God bless 'em) or graduates still struggling with gender identity issues. Everybody wins!
-- Oversized, Overstuffed and Over Here: I often get stuck behind huge trucks carrying mobile homes, nuclear missiles or pieces of the Alaska pipeline. Invariably, these rigs bear bright yellow signs reading, "OVERSIZE LOAD."
"Shouldn't that be 'OVERSIZED LOAD'?" you ask. My point exactly. Like the captain of the H.M.S. Pinafore, these truckers never use the big, big "D." Well, hardly ever.
By the way, don't you think it would be cool to drive one of those little Jeeps with their yellow lights flashing away that zip around like clown cars in front of these trucks? Me, too.
OK. I can accept other "clipped participles" (which is what such "D"-less wonders are called): "ice cream" for "iced cream," "ice tea" for "iced tea" and "toss salad" for "tossed salad."
But to encounter "OVERSIZE LOAD" emblazoned in big, black capital letters on yellow plastic is grammatically "D"-stabilizing.
========
Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to Wordguy@aol.com or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
Copyright 2010 Creators Syndicate Inc.
|
