Boardash: Women for Tuesday January 5, 2010

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Get Healthy in 2010

Women
For You
Tuesday January 5, 2010

Health and Beauty Tip -- Simple Anti-Aging Tips
Computer sci environment may repel women
Annie's Mailbox
Quote of the Day
Free Parenting Humor from the New Yorker

Health and Beauty Tip -- Simple Anti-Aging Tips

Every little bit helps, but there are simple things you can do you make yourself look younger that don't involve makeup. Whitening strips, for instance, help remove coffee and tea stains from teeth; whiter teeth help you look younger and healthier easily. And there's one that's even simpler -- work on your posture! You'll look thinner and younger without much effort ... and it's easier on your back, too.

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Computer sci environment may repel women

SEATTLE (UPI) -- The stereotype of computer scientists as nerds who stay up at night coding and have no social life may drive women from the field, U.S. researchers suggest.

"When people think of computer science the image that immediately pops into many of their minds is of the computer geek surrounded by computer games, science fiction memorabilia and junk food," lead author Sapna Cheryan, a University of Washington assistant professor of psychology, says in a statement. "That stereotype doesn't appeal to many women who don't like the portrait of masculinity that it evokes."

Cheryan set up four experiments involving more than 250 female and male students who were not studying computer science. The students were exposed to classrooms, offices and rooms that contained objects stereotypically associated with computer science such as Star Trek posters, video game boxes and Coke cans, or non-stereotypical items such as nature posters, art, a dictionary and coffee mugs.

The objects help create what Cheryan calls ambient belonging, the feeling a person fits or doesn't fit in somewhere.

The study, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found women exposed to the stereotypical setup expressed less interest in computer science than those who saw the non-stereotypical objects. Men placed in the same situations did not show a similar drop in interest in computer science, the study said.

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Annie's Mailbox

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: How do you deal with a married 40-year-old daughter with two children who is so jealous of her brothers that she causes family rifts? Right now, "Claire" isn't speaking to her father, her brothers or me. We don't understand it. We have always treated our children the same.

Last May, Claire and her younger brother got into an argument over a birthday dinner for me. She told him she wants to be left alone and hasn't spoken to any of us since. I sent her young son a check for his birthday in August, and it has yet to be cashed or acknowledged.

Claire was never like this until she married, and I'm not sure how to deal with it. Please help. -- Sad Sue

Dear Sad Sue: Is Claire's husband influencing her relationships negatively or encouraging a family rift? Some husbands (and wives) isolate their spouses from family members in an effort to control them. It's also possible Claire has harbored ill will toward her brothers for years and finally let it out.

Make an effort to mend fences in a neutral way. Call, write or e-mail and say you've missed her. Ask how the grandchildren are. If she replies and gets upset, offer to go with her for family counseling to see if you can find a way to make her happier. If you approach it in a way that indicates her feelings are valid, she is more likely to respond. If she doesn't answer your calls or messages, consider counseling for yourself. Having an estranged child can cause its own emotional problems.

Dear Annie: For several years, I stored a few of my belongings in my parents' attic because I had a small apartment. This included a collection of horse models that had become vintage and valuable. Unfortunately, I recently discovered that my mother often loaned pieces of my collection to other people's children without asking my permission. Mind you, it took effort for her to do this since she had to climb the attic stairs and crawl around up there.

My mother is good at crossing boundaries, and this violation made me feel hurt and angry. Am I off base to believe nothing of mine should have been touched without my permission, or does the fact that my things were in their attic allow them to loan them without my knowledge? In other words, whose property is it? -- Memphis Belle

Dear Memphis: If your parents bought these items for you, they may feel proprietary toward them and assume they can loan them out as they please. However, the collection of models belongs to you, and your mother should not have allowed them to be used by others without asking you. We trust all the loaned items have been returned and you have since removed your things from her attic.

Dear Annie: I agree with "Doctor in California" that the media definitely put their own spin on medications, making some people afraid to use them. Here's a different problem:

My family was watching a movie Saturday night. My 3-year-old daughter was playing around and jumping on the couch, and she ended up hurting herself. My husband picked her up and was consoling her when a commercial for Cymbalta came on, showing a young woman crying, sad and alone. It then shows the same woman taking Cymbalta and being full of energy and having fun with her family. My crying daughter turns around and tells her daddy she wants Cymbalta so she can be happy again.

Two days later, when she didn't get her way, she threw a tantrum and started screaming, "Did my daddy get my Cymbalta? I'm very upset!" This time I couldn't help but laugh. -- Mom of an Unhappy Toddler

Dear Mom: Funny, yes, but also a little disturbing.

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Quote of the Day

Dame Edith Sitwell

I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.

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Free Parenting Humor from the New Yorker

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-- From the ArcaMax editors