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New Excercise Philosophy Physical exercise is good for you. I know that I should do it daily but my body doesn't want me to do too much, so I have worked out this program of strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise.You are invited to use my program without charge. 1) Beating around the bush 2) Jumping to conclusions 3) Climbing the walls 4) Swallowing my pride 5) Passing the buck 6) Throwing my weight around 7) Dragging my heels 8) Pushing my luck 9) Making mountains out of molehills 10) Hitting the nail on the head 11) Wading through paperwork 12) Bending over backwards 13) Jumping on the bandwagon 14) Balancing the books 15) Running around in circles 16) Eating crow 17) Tooting my own horn 18) Climbing the ladder of success 19) Pulling out the stops 20) Adding fuel to the fire 21) Opening a can of worms 22) Putting my foot in my mouth 23) Starting the ball rolling 24) Going over the edge 25) Picking up the pieces Happy Exercising...
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Gambling When I go to casinos, the most ridiculous sign I see is the one that says..."If you have a gambling problem, call 1-800- GAMBLER." So, I call them and say, "I have an ace and a six. The dealer has a seven. What do I do?"
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A Quote... At the UPS cargo phone center where I worked, a woman called and said, "I need a baseball quote." I immediately answered with Yogi Berra's famous "It ain't over 'til it's over!" There was a brief moment of silence before the woman asked, "What was that?" "You asked me for a baseball quote," I responded, "and that was the first thing that came into my head." "Oh," she replied. "My husband told me to call and get a baseball quote." I asked if she wanted to ship something, and she said she did. Then it dawned on me: "Do you mean you want a ballpark figure?"
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Election Win The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!" "Honestly?" The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
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