Today's Jokes Plus Celtic Jewelry

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Irish Blessing Celtic Cross Stunning Irish Celtic Jewelry in a Limited Edition Sterling Silver & Diamond Cross Pendant As enduring as Ireland's rich heritage, a beautifully crafted, limited-edition Irish blessing Celtic cross Irish Celtic jewelry graced with five glittering emeralds and four sparkling diamonds Finely hand-crafted in solid sterling silver and lavished with rich accents of 24-karat-gold plating Celtic cross pendant jewelry engraved on reverse with verse from the beloved Irish blessing:   "May God Always Hold You in the Palm of His Hands" Visit now to See Detailed photos & read more
What it REALLY means "I can't find it," REALLY MEANS, "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless." "That's women's work," REALLY MEANS, "It's dirty, difficult and thankless." "Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't find the washer, and there is no more peanut butter." "It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?" "It would take too long to explain, "REALLY MEANS, "I have no idea how it works." "I'm getting more exercise lately," REALLY MEANS, "The batteries in the remote are dead."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window. Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal. Get two for the price of one when you order today. Order now!...
What it REALLY REALLY Means "We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac." "Take a break, honey, you're working too hard, "REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner." "That's interesting, dear," REALLY MEANS, "Are you still talking?" "Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love, REALLY MEANS, "I forgot our anniversary again." "It's really a good movie," REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and good looking women." "You know how bad my memory is," REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop", the address of the first girl I kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday." "Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal," REALLY MEANS, "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt." "I do help around the house," REALLY MEANS, "I once threw a dirty towel near the laundry basket."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Yum!! It's Love at First Bite... Get the perfect combination of sweet chocolate and PLANTERS nuts together in your mouth! Satisfy your chocolate craving with crunchy, sweet PLANTERS Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds! A heavenly 2-Pack Sample of divine Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds is yours for FREE*! Indulge your taste buds - you'll be glad you did: Get your FREE* PLANTERS Chocolate Lovers Nuts TODAY!
What it REALLY REALLY REALLY Means "What did I do this time?" REALLY MEANS, "What did you catch me doing?" "She's one of the rabid feminists," REALLY MEANS, "She refused to make my coffee." "I heard you," REALLY MEANS, "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me." "You really look terrific in that outfit," REALLY MEANS, "Please don't try on another outfit. I'm starving." "I missed you," REALLY MEANS, "I can't find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper." "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are," REALLY MEANS, "No one will ever see us alive again." "We share the housework," REALLY MEANS, "I make the messes. She cleans them up." "I don't need to read the instructions," REALLY MEANS, "I am perfectly capable of messing it up without printed help."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor ** Urgent Message for Moms & Dads ** Are you interested in staying home with the kids - without giving up your income? Internet Millionaire Shawn Casey is looking for parents who want to earn additional income online. No risk or obligation. You can try his Online Business Kit for free – today only. Click here to read more.
Name and Address? A cop pulled over two drunks, and asked to the first, "What's your name and address?" "I'm Paddy O'Day, of no fixed address." The cop turned to the second drunk, and asked the same question. "I'm Seamus O'Toole, and I live in the flat above Paddy."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Get Healthy in 2010 Get in shape for the New Year with health tips from ArcaMax! Get the latest news in health and medicine, free diet and exercise tips, and more with a free subscription. Subscribe to Health Tips instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.