Dog Talk with Uncle Matty: Happy Endings
By Matthew “Uncle Matty” Margolis We're facing the final week of a year that, for many, was the most stressful in recent memory. Family frustrations, mortgage woes, money troubles, divorce -- snippets of the year's events from the life of a woman who called recently to tell me her dogs are hopeless and she's going to put them to sleep.
Stress is a powerful motivator of irrational and dire acts.
This woman is the fed-up owner of a couple of canine carpet-wetters. They aren't housebroken, never were and never will be, she insisted.
"Are they trained?" I asked.
"No," she said, "but they're hopeless."
Nothing is hopeless that hasn't yet been given a chance.
When times are tough, the tendency is to seek a scapegoat, someone or something to blame for all our troubles. This approach to problem-solving sees a success rate on a par with telling ourselves, year after year, that we will be happy when, fill in the blank, the boss gives us that promotion, the spouse develops a fondness for foreign films, the kid forgoes the drums for Zen meditation� Happiness-producing techniques that work as smoothly as shaving with tweezers.
These fallback behaviors fail because we're not holding the reins on our own happiness. Other people or pets are the cause of our distress, and other people or pets should get their acts together. But difficulties are resolved when we acknowledge them for what they are, accept responsibility for our part and take aim at their roots.
This woman had to acknowledge that her dogs didn't drain her bank account or destroy her marriage. She had to accept responsibility for the fact that she lived with two dogs she had never trained to behave according to her expectations. And with all the other stressors in her life, she was unable to see through the overwhelm to the source of this particular trouble: lack of training.
Housebreaking is the No. 1 problem among dog owners. It's also the easiest to remedy. Most puppies and dogs, regardless of age, can be completely and permanently housebroken in a matter of days. But they must be taught.
After I listened to her, she listened to me. We agreed that I would go to her home and put the dogs on a housebreaking program, which I did. Three days later, they were housebroken. Happy endings all around.
But when I think about the drastic measures people resort to in hard times, and the loved ones that suffer as a result, it breaks my heart. This woman, in a hurricane of hardship and anxiety, was on the brink of terminating those that will prove to be her most enduring and plentiful sources of emotional support and joy: her dogs.
Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough get clueless. It isn't news that people take their stress out on their loved ones, but that doesn't mean it's right or smart or even helpful. Those who truly love us are exactly who we need by our side in good times and bad. And very few people love as deep and as true as a dog.
For detailed information on housebreaking your dog, please visit unclematty.com.
Woof!
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Dog trainer Matthew "Uncle Matty" Margolis is co-author of 18 books about dogs, a behaviorist, a popular radio and television guest, and host of the PBS series "WOOF! It's a Dog's Life!" Read all of Uncle Matty's columns at the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com, and visit him at www.unclematty.com. Send your questions to dearuncle.gazette@unclematty.com or by mail to Uncle Matty at P.O. Box 3300, Diamond Springs, CA 95619.
Copyright 2009 Creators Syndicate Inc.
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