Jokes for Thursday December 3, 2009

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Congratulations! Claim Your Free Google G2 Phone! It's finally here... With all the bells & whistles you you could dream of... Including a Touchscreen, Video Recorder, Wireless Email, Mobile Streaming, 5MP Camera, Games, GPS, IM, Real Web Browsing, Task List, Stereo BlueTooth (yes!), Sync w/PC, Voice Dialing, Photo Caller ID and way, way more... If you only get 1 gadget this year... yea, this is the ONE! Click here to reserve yours.
Drumming... There was once a small boy who banged a drum all day and loved every moment of it. He would not be quiet, no matter what anyone else said or did. Various attempts were made to do something about the child. One person told the boy that he would, if he continued to make so much noise, perforate his eardrums. This reasoning was too advanced for the child, who was neither a scientist nor a scholar. A second person told him that drum beating was a sacred activity and should be carried out only on special occasions. The third person offered the neighbors plugs for their ears; a fourth gave the boy a book; a fifth gave the neighbors books that described a method of controlling anger through biofeedback; a sixth person gave the boy meditation exercises to make him placid and docile. None of these attempts worked. Eventually, a wise person came along with an effective motivation. He looked at the situation, handed the child a hammer and chisel, and asked, "I wonder what is INSIDE the drum?" No more problem.
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor ** Urgent Message for Moms & Dads ** Are you interested in staying home with the kids - without giving up your income? Internet Millionaire Shawn Casey is looking for parents who want to earn additional income online. No risk or obligation. You can try his Online Business Kit for free – today only. Click here to read more.
Doctor's Guarantee "The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks." "Was he successful?" "Yup, I had to sell my car to pay his bill."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Great coffee tastes even better with a great offer! Try Gevalia now and get 3 boxes of Gevalia coffee for just $3 with FREE SHIPPING! Order today and you'll receive a FREE travel mug! There is NO obligation. Keep the gifts even if you don't continue to enjoy our direct delivery program. GET ALL THIS FOR $3 plus FREE SHIPPING! Click here...
Dress Code Employed by the human-development center of a corporation in the Midwest, my friend trains employees in proper dress codes and etiquette. One day as she was stepping onto the elevator, a man casually dressed in jeans and a golf shirt got on with her. Thinking of her responsibilities, she scolded, "Dressed a little casually today, aren't we?" The man replied, "That's one of the benefits you get of owning the company."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Experience The Renewal of Dual-Action Cleanse Millions of Americans are carrying around an excess pounds of toxic matter in their digestive tract. This can weigh you down and may lead to some very unpleasant health concerns. Americans now eat far less vegetables and fresh fruit compared to 50 years ago. This reduction in essential fiber means the body is often unable to effectively cleanse itself. These toxins could be causing a range of symptoms from headaches to weight gain in millions of Americans all across the country. Detoxify Your Body Today!
Unruly Child A man scolded his son for being so unruly and the child rebelled against his father. He got some of his clothes, his teddy bear and his piggy bank and proudly announced, 'I'm running away from home!'. The father calmly decided to look at the matter logically. 'What if you get hungry?', he said. 'Then I'll come home and eat!', bravely declared the child. ' And what if you run out of money?'. 'I will come home and get some!', readily replied the child. The man then made a final attempt, 'What if your clothes get dirty?'. 'Then I'll come home and let mommy wash them.', was the reply. The man shook his head and exclaimed, 'This kid is not running away from home, he's going off to college!!'.
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Free Parenting Humor from the New Yorker With the new school year starting, parents can use a good laugh to start the day. The New Yorker Parenting Cartoons ezine has just what you need! Subscribers to this free ezine will receive a New Yorker cartoon every morning by e-mail -- a service available only from ArcaMax! New subscribers will also receive a New Yorker-style cartoon with their name in the caption, perfect for sharing with family and friends! For more cartoons every morning, sign up for the Dogs and Cats, Food Humor, Love & Relationships, and Office Humor ezines. Subscribe to New Yorker Parenting Humor. -- From the ArcaMax editors
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.