Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Today's Jokes Plus Get Paid for Answering E-mails!

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by:

Make your internet experience more rewarding by getting
paid daily for trying your favorite products and services.

Our 100% FREE website, SendEarnings, will reward you instantly
for taking surveys and trying everyday items. Plus if you
get started today, we'll bonus you $3!

Here is what makes SendEarnings great...
- Get paid online through Paypal or request a Check by mail
- 24/7 customer service
- Lots of chances to earn cash

So what are you waiting for?
Join now and start receiving cash INSTANTLY

 

The Manager

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a friendly, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him--his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it.

One day he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!"

Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

Act Now And Get Your Free $1,000 Walmart Gift Card

Use it any way you want...

* Get that new HDTV you've been drooling over
* Spruce up the House, OR
* Get those appliances you've been putting off:

Click here for details...
(Participation required)

Eye Surgery

Working in an ophthalmology practice that specializes in LASIK surgery, I am expected to comfort nervous patients. But prior to one operation, the patient was so nervous she was actually shaking.

Nothing I said to her would comfort her so after the doctor finished on the first eye and before he began on the second I wanted her to know the surgery was going well.

There, I said, patting her hand reassuringly, "Now you only have one eye left."

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

Why is my PC so slow?

Computers slow down. It's unavoidable. What's worse is that
over time they begin to exhibit error messages. If the
problems persist, they freeze up or even crash!

RegTOOL offers a solution to these problems, and using it
is fast and easy. In under two minutes it can detect and
repair corrupt paths, outdated shortcuts and duplicate entries,
sweeping away the hurdles to optimal PC performance.

Free diagnostic scan available here

If you're fed up with slow computer performance, system crashes,
or slow boot up speeds, look into RegTOOL and maximize your
PC's performance!

Art Supply

I used to work in an art supply store. We sold artists' canvas by the yard, and you could get it in either of two widths: 36 inches or 48 inches.

Customer: "Can you please cut some canvas for me?"

Me: "Certainly, what width?"

Customer: (confused and slightly annoyed) "Scissors?"

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Sponsor

Yum!! It's Love at First Bite...

Get the perfect combination of sweet chocolate
and PLANTERS nuts together in your mouth!

Satisfy your chocolate craving with crunchy, sweet
PLANTERS Milk-Chocolate Cashews or Dark-Chocolate Almonds!
A heavenly 2-Pack Sample of divine Milk-Chocolate Cashews
or Dark-Chocolate Almonds is yours for FREE*!

Indulge your taste buds - you'll be glad you did:

Get your FREE* PLANTERS Chocolate Lovers Nuts TODAY!

Luggage

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.

She smiled and told me not to worry as they were trained professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend

Challah and Vegetable Stuffing

Get creative this year and try a new stuffing recipe -- challah and vegetable stuffing is simple to make, and will be a delicious addition to your family's traditional Thanksgiving meal.

For more creative recipes, as well as calorie-cutting tips and stress-reducing strategies, visit the new ArcaMax Thanksgiving feature. It'll help you start the holiday season off right!

-- From the ArcaMax editors

To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.

ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success.

To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg

ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details.

We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers

Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address:
duncanjax@gmail.com

Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates.

SUBSCRIBING

To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg

UNSUBSCRIBING

To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link

Having Trouble?

You may also try this link:
http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe
It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email.

ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.
729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard
Suite B
Newport News, VA 23606

Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

 

No comments:

Post a Comment