Today's Jokes Plus Get a FREE Rachael Ray Chef Package!

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Cook like a pro! Get a FREE Rachael Ray Chef Package! * 10-piece Hard Anodized Cookware Set * Gusto-grip Knife Set * 3 Rachael Ray Cookbooks * A $400 Value! Click here for details...
Only In America Only in America ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. Only in America ... are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. Only in America ... do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a diet coke. Only in America ... do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Only in America ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put, our useless junk in the garage. Only in America ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we will not miss a call from someone we did not want to talk to in the first place. Only in America ... do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. Only in America ... do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'. Only in America ... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
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Roof Leak Mr. Kramer had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired. Mr. Kramer scowled. "Last night, when it took me two hours to finish my soup!"
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Carol's Gun Rummaging through her attic one day, my friend Carol found an old shotgun. Unsure how to dispose of it, she called her parents. "Take it to the police station," her mother suggested. My friend was about to hang up when her mom added.... "And, Carol?" "Yes, mom?" "Call them first and let them know you're coming."
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Luck? A 55-year-old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who's lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend. The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening. Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5 to win. Sure enough, the horse comes in fifth.
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Happy Thanksgiving from ArcaMax! The ArcaMax.com family wants to wish your family a very happy Thanksgiving, and a safe and fun start to the holiday season. Be sure to keep visiting the site for free holiday recipes, decorating and gift buying tips, and more as the season goes on. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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