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| Bottle of Wine For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you open a bottle of wine.
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
"What's in the bag?" asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, "It's a bottle of wine. got it for my husband." The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, "Good trade."
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| Alligator's Teeth A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Indian.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Alligator's teeth," the Indian replied.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us."
"Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster." |
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| Paying Bills My wife and I, both graduate students, recently celebrated the arrival of our first child. At my wife's insistence, we had paid our entire medical bill and were now worried about meeting other payments.
We were discussing our sad financial situation one evening when our son demanded a diaper change.
As my wife leaned over the baby's crib, I heard her mutter, "The only thing in the house that's paid for, and it leaks." |
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| Doctor's Visit Patient says, "Doc, you must check my leg. Something's wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you'll hear it!"
The doctor cautiously places his ear to the man's thigh only to hear, "Give me $10! I'm desperate! I need $10!"
"I've never seen or heard anything like this before! How long has this been going on?" the doctor asked.
"That's nothing, Doc. Put your ear to my knee."
The doctor put his ear to the man's knee and heard it say, "Please! I really need $5! Just $5! Please! I'm desperate!"
"Sir, I really don't know what to tell you. I've never seen anything like this." The doctor was truly dumbfounded.
"Wait, Doc, that's not all of it. There's more. Just put your ear down on my ankle," the man urged him.
The doctor did as the man said and was amazed to hear his ankle plead, "Please, I just need $20! Please lend me $20, please! I am really desperate!"
"I have no idea what to tell you," the doctor said. "There's nothing about it in any of my books," he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books. "However... I can make a well-educated guess.
Based on life and all my previous experiences, I can tell you with some certainty, that your leg seems to be broke in three places."
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| Submit Your Fall Gardening Pics The weather's turning colder and the leaves are falling -- time to take photos of the changing colors in your garden! You can show them off in the Gardening Reader Photo Gallery.
It's easy to upload your best pictures, and just as easy to vote on your favorites. Or send your friends and family to vote for yours, and make it the most popular for the month!
To send in more pictures, visit the Baby, Travel, and Pet Photo Galleries.
Subscribe to ArcaMax Gardening Tips instantly for more reader photos, gardening tips, trivia, and more.
Find out more before subscribing.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
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