- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Get New Maybelline Define-A-Lash Mascara FREE! * Ophthalmologist and Allergy Tested * Removes Easily with Soap and Water * Suitable for Sensitive Eyes and Contact Lens Wearers * Fragrance Free Make your lashes beautifully defined down to the exact lash! Get your FREE* Define-A-Lash Sample TODAY! | |
10 Signs Your Vet Bill Is Going To Require Financing -- The doc's thermometer registers in Fahrenheit, Celsius and dollars. -- The bill came with payment coupons. -- Your Doberman just ate the receptionist. -- "He has a very rare blood type. It's called '$$ Positive.'" -- He starts talking about extended quality of life, miracles of modern veterinary medicine and joint replacement procedures. You own a goldfish. -- They take away the blood sample on a sterling silver serving tray. -- The sad, pathetic whining in the exam room is coming from the owners. -- You suddenly realize where you've heard that low whistle before: from the plumber and the auto mechanic. -- "Do you have any idea how expensive hamster defibrillators are?" -- and the #1 Sign Your Veterinary Bill is Going to Require Financing: "We can rebuild him. Make him stronger, faster...." |
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
Sponsor Flush up to 25 pounds of waste and toxins from your body! Jump start your diet with a 14 day free trial of ALL Natural Acai Berry Cleanse Feel great and look great with the berry voted #1 Super Food on Oprah - Flush Excess Weight and Waste from your body - Help reduce constipation and IBS Click here for your free trial bottle. |
Work Memo Business must follow numerous rules and regulations laid down by government agencies. So maybe we shouldn't have been surprised by the memo from the county Department of Health Services. "The month of August has been designated as Breast-Feeding Awareness Month," it read. "It is a good time for employers to review their policies relative to breast-feeding employees." |
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
Sponsor Get Your Free myTouch 3G Phone! With your myTouch 3G, you can keep on top of your world. The status bar is always updating and icons appear to let you know information has arrived. myTouch 3G gives you exciting, fun ways to personalize the outside of your phone, as well as the inside. Choose a preset design or design your own. There's never been a better way to personalize your desktop! Get your FREE myTouch 3G today! Click here for details... |
Babies My five year old daughter asked me the question I'd been dreading. "Mommy , how are babies made?" I did my best to explain but she still looked confused. "What about kittens? She asked. "Well it's exactly then same way, " I said. "Wow!" she said excitedly. "My daddy can do anything" |
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
Sponsor Why is my PC so slow?
Computers slow down. It's unavoidable. What's worse is that over time they begin to exhibit error messages. If the problems persist, they freeze up or even crash! RegTOOL offers a solution to these problems, and using it is fast and easy. In under two minutes it can detect and repair corrupt paths, outdated shortcuts and duplicate entries, sweeping away the hurdles to optimal PC performance. Free diagnostic scan available here If you're fed up with slow computer performance, system crashes, or slow boot up speeds, look into RegTOOL and maximize your PC's performance! |
Injustice -- In 2003, televangelist Jim Bakker paid a $3.7 million settlement for defrauding his followers. Lawyers got $2.5 million of it - and each victim got $6.54. -- In a 2003, settlement between Sears and customers with improperly done wheel balancing. Lawyers got $2.45 million - and customers got $2.50 per tire. -- When a bank settled a lawsuit over improper interest charges, the lawyers got $8.5 million. Each bank customer got less than $10, and then had to pay the bank $91 to reimburse its court fees. |
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com! Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later. You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more. Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions. Visit BookDaily.com now. -- From the ArcaMax editors |
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. |
|
No comments:
Post a Comment