Thursday, September 3, 2009

Today's Jokes Plus Private Information Now Available

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by:

Private Information Now Available

Not too long ago, only the police department and
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A River...

In Washington State, a little north of Seattle, is a river called the Stillaguamish, but it wasn't always called that. It was originally named "Aguamish" after a local Indian tribe.

When Lewis & Clark finally made their way to the west coast they came to the Aguamish tribe and met the chief who told them what the name of the river was and gave them a tour of the area.

Years later Merriweather Lewis returned and met the Aguamish chief again and the subject finally came around to the river:

"Chief, I've been told that, because of so many white men have arrived in the area, many of the rivers are being renamed because they couldn't pronounce the names. Tell me, what is the name of your river now, please, " Lewis pleaded.

"Oh," replied the chief. "It's Stillaguamish."

-- By Subscriber Loney Burton

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Hospital Sign

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:

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Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too."

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Hunting, sort of...

Shelia walked into the kitchen to find her husband, Fred, stalking around with a fly swatter.

"And what are we doing?" she asked.

"Hunting flies" he responded.

"Oh? Killing any?" she asked, with a smirk.

"Yep! Got 4 males, 3 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. "How the heck can you tell?"

"Simple." He replied, "4 were on a beer can, 3 were on the phone."

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The Singing Fish

Jimmy: 'Hey, Mike! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.'

Mike: 'To tell the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.'

Jimmy: 'What? Let me get this straight... You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird?'

Mike: 'Well, yeah. After all, you know, he's a parrot fish.'

Jimmy: 'Now listen, Mike, while you might be able to teach a parrot to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.'

Mike: 'That's what you think! It just so happens this fish CAN sing. The thing is, he's terribly off-key and it's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?'

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Get Your Garden Ready for Fall

Autumn is just around the corner -- is your garden ready? Let ArcaMax help with tips from the Gardening ezine.

Get quick and easy tips for your fruits and vegetables, check your local weather, and view photos of your fellow readers' own gardens. You can also submit your own, and invite family and friends to vote to make it the most popular of the month!

Subscribe to ArcaMax Gardening instantly.

Find out more before subscribing.

-- From the ArcaMax editors

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