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Mutual Attraction In the middle of an argument a man said to his wife, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time!" The wife responded calmly, "Allow me to explain...the good Lord made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; and he made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"
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Kids' Wise Words 1. Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10 2. When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" don't answer him. - Michael, 14 3. Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14 4. Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9 5. Never pee on an electric fence. - Robert, 13 6. Don't squat with your spurs on. - Noronha, 13 7. Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to. - Emily, 10 8. When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair. - Taylia, 11 9. Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14 10. Don't sneeze in front of mom when you're eating crackers. - Mitchell, 12 11. Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9 12. Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9 13. You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9 14. Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts. - Kellie, 11 15. If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15 16. Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9 17. Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10 18. When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone. - Alyesha, 13 19. Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8
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Irish Clergy An English Clergyman turned to a Scotchman and asked: "What would you be if you were not Scot?" The Scotchman said: "Why, an Englishman, of course!" Then the clergyman turned to a gentleman from Ireland and asked him: "And what would you be were you not an Irishman?" The man thought a moment and said: "I'd be ashamed of myself!"
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Last Word Management always needs to have the last word. Case in point: During a meeting at our financial consulting firm, a co-worker was asked to guesstimate a realistic closing rate for the larger cases we were handling. "I'd have to say 20 percent," he answered. "No, no, no," interrupted our boss. "It's more like one in five!" [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.]
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