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Lamaze Class A couple just started their Lamaze class and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand - to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged saying, "This doesn't feel so bad." The instructor then dropped a pen and asked the husband to pick it up. "You want me to pick up the pen as if I were pregnant, the way my wife would do it?" the husband asked. "Exactly," replied the instructor. To the delight of the other husbands, he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, pick up that pen for me."
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Skeleton I was helping a buddy of mine, who was an orthopedic surgeon, move to his new office, and using my car to help transport some of his office equipment. I had decided to position his somewhat fragile display skeleton strapped into the back seat of my car, his bony arm across the back of my seat... At one traffic light, the stares of the people in the car beside me became quite obvious. I looked across and explained, "I'm delivering him to a doctor's office." The other driver leaned out of his window. and commented, "I hate to tell you, but I looks like you may be a bit too late!"
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Dogs And Computers: Same Or Different? Part I -- Favorite Food Dogs: kibbles Computers: bits -- Method used to end undesirable behavior Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper Computers: hit control-alt-delete -- After destruction of personal property Dogs: dog not found Computers: file not found -- Favorite trick Dogs: roll over Computers: play dead -- Comic-page hero Dogs: Dogbert Computers: Dilbert -- Fun way to mess with their heads Dogs: peanut butter on roof of mouth Computers: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive -- Consequence of virus Dogs: replace valuable carpeting Computers: replace valuable data -- Widely ignored government mandate Dogs: leash law Computers: Communications Decency Act
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Dogs And Computers: Same Or Different? Part II -- Waste disposal tool Dogs: pooper-scooper Computers: uninstaller -- Sensitive internal procedures Dogs: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional Computers: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed one kind of like this once -- Method of marking territory Dogs: lifting leg Computers: "Designed for Windows XP" -- Unique behavior Dogs: lick and drag Computers: click-and-drag -- Inexplicable physical feature Dogs: declaw Computers: scroll lock key -- Estimated lifespan Dogs: 12 years Computers: 12 months -- At end of useful life Dogs: euthanasia Computers: tax deduction
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Contest for Chess Lovers Hey, chess lovers! Think you've got what it takes to solve Pete Tamburro's chess puzzles? He's offering a cash prize to the first reader who figures out his newest challenge! Click here to see the cash prize problem and give it a try. Subscribe to ArcaMax Games for more chess puzzles, daily interactive crossword and Sudoku, downloadable games, and more. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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