Today's Jokes Plus Free Scrubbing Bubbles Gift Pack

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Free Scrubbing Bubbles Toilet Gel Gift Pack For the first 10,000 requests. Gift packs will be mailed by November 15, 2009. Click here ...
Good Milk There once was a 94 year old nun back in the 1890s whose worn out body began to surrender. Her doctor prescribed for her a shot of whiskey three times a day, to relax her. However, not to be lured into worldly pleasures, she huffily declined. But her mother superior knew the elderly sister loved milk. So she instructed the kitchen to spike the milk three times a day. Eventually, the elderly pious one approached her final hour. As several sisters gathered around her at bedside, the mother superior asked if she wanted to leave them any words of wisdom. "Oh, yes," she replied. "Never sell that cow!"
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Identity A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
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Traffic Court A New York man was forced to take a day off from work to appear for a minor traffic summons. He grew increasingly restless as he waited hour after endless hour for his case to be heard. When his name was called late in the afternoon, he stood before the judge, only to hear that court would be adjourned for the next day and he would have to return the next day. "What for?" he snapped at the judge. His honor, equally irked by a tedious day and sharp query roared, "Twenty dollars contempt of court. That's why!" Then, noticing the man checking his wallet, the judge relented. "That's all right. You don't have to pay now." The young man replied, "I'm just seeing if I have enough for two more words."
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Election Win The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!" "Honestly?" The politician's smiled faded. "Aw, heck, Ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"
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Send in Your Fall Pet Photos Now's a great time to take new photos of your pets. Submit your best ones to the ArcaMax Pet Photo Gallery! It's easy to upload your best pictures, and just as easy to vote on your favorites. Or send your friends and family to vote for yours, and make it the most popular for the month! To send in more pictures, visit the Baby, Gardening, and Travel Photo Galleries. Subscribe to ArcaMax Cats & Dogs instantly for more reader photos, pet care tips, and more. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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