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| The Workout The Doctor told me I should start an exercise program. Not wanting to harm this old body, I've devised the following:
Beat around the bush
Jump to conclusions
Climb the walls
Wade through the morning paper.
Drag my heels
Push my luck
Make mountains out of mole hills
Hit the nail on the head.
Bend over backwards
Jump on the band wagon
Run around in circles.
Toot my own horn
Pull out all the stops
Add fuel to the fire
Open a can of worms
Put my foot in my mouth
Start the ball rolling
Go over the edge.
Pick up the pieces.
Kneel in prayer
Bow my head in thanksgiving
Uplift my hands in praise
Hug someone and encourage them.
What a Workout!
Rest At Last.
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| Shopping While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first, then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with her forefingers and thumbs.
"I don't know his size," she said, "but my hands fit per- fectly around his neck."
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| Baggage My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.
"The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained.
Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself." |
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| Bathroom A five year old boy went for a weekend trip with his grandparents. On the way home, they stopped at a country restaurant for lunch.
The little boy left the table to use the restroom by him- self. A moment later he returned with a confused look on his face. He says, "Grandpa, am I a rooster or a hen?"
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| Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com!
Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later.
You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more.
Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions.
Visit BookDaily.com now.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
| To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
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http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
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