| - Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Watch Satellite TV On Your PC Get immediate access from anywhere in the world
to over 3000 lightening fast stations on your PC,
no hardware, and no recurring fee's. Click Here Now | |
| License Plate While driving with my daughter and her husband, I noticed that the woman in the car ahead of us had a rather odd vanity plate.
"That's weird," I said, pointing to it. "Why would anyone want to boast about mold on their car?"
"Call me crazy," said my son-in-law after deciphering the phrase, "but I believe that reads 'FUN-GAL.'"
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Get Your Free Recipes of Love eBook! Get your romance cooking! Download Recipes for Love FREE
eBook for a meal to remember. Click here for details... |
| Supper This guy was watching TV as his wife was out cutting the grass during the hot summer. He finally worked up the energy to go out and ask his wife what was for supper.
Well, his missus was quite irritated about him sitting in the air conditioned house all day while she did all the work, so she scolded him. "I can't believe you're aking me about supper right now! Imagine I'm out of town, go inside and figure dinner out yourself."
So he went back in the house and fixed himself a big steak, with potatoes, garlic bread and tall glass of iced tea.
The wife finally walked in about the time he was finishing up and asked him, "You fixed something to eat? So where is mine?"
"Huh? I thought you were out of town."
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Stop Stress Eating and Lose Weight Today! Try CocoVive - buy 2, get a FREE bottle! (just pay s/h) Stress causes all sorts of problems including poor
performance, bad moods, and weight gain. Now, stop the stress cycle with CocoVive - the all-natural
stress solution! Discover the 4 natural ingredients that
defeat stress, anxiety, and depression. Click here for details... |
| 10 Commandments of Marriage Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished. |
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor New Stimulus Program Providing:
- Alternative to bankruptcy
- Debt free in 12-36 months
- FREE Consultation
- 40-60% Savings
- Reduce Debt Balance Get Out Of Debt Today! |
| Just Can't Win "I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"
"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win...
If I was late to work, I was hostile.
If I was early, I had an anxiety complex.
If I was on time, I was compulsive." |
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Picking the Perfect Valentine's Day Gift Don't get stuck trying to pick the right thing for your loved one this Valentine's Day. You can get great gift ideas -- for him and for her -- from the ArcaMax Valentine's Day feature.
This special section also has holiday history and trivia, party ideas, and recipes for delicious desserts.
Visit the Valentine's Day feature.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
| To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
| ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
| Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address:
duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link:
http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe
It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.
729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard
Suite B
Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. |
| |
