| Sylvia Rimm Q: What is your opinion about waiting until kids are 6 years old to start kindergarten?
A: Age guidelines for kindergarten entrance have been set for a reason. On average, age 5 is an excellent time for children to enter kindergarten. While holding children back a year is right for a few children, it certainly makes no sense for most children. It deprives them of an important year of education. Most schools provide a readiness screening for children that can help you make the correct decision. If your child is very young and barely makes the deadline and also doesn't seem to have the academic readiness, it could make sense to enroll him or her in a good preschool for an extra year, holding him or her back from kindergarten.
On the other hand, even very young kindergartners do well if they have above average abilities and average maturity. Academically gifted children actually benefit from early entrance to kindergarten, and holding them back causes extreme boredom by repeating material they've already learned. They easily become behavior problems or begin underachievement patterns when they are challenged in later years.
If you're considering either holding children back or entering them early, you should definitely have your child evaluated by a psychologist before making that decision. Many parents assume that holding back children, or what's known from sports as "red shirting," always provides a benefit. Actually, research shows that "red shirted" boys have greater behavior problems in the middle school years. Perhaps, they've been accustomed to too little challenge and act out when they're expected to work harder.
There is definitely not a one-size-fits-all answer to your questions, but I've summarized entrance to kindergarten expectations in my book, "Raising Preschoolers." For a free newsletter about "Raising Preschoolers" that includes readiness for kindergarten guidelines, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.
Q: My daughter won't stop reading. It makes her late for school and other activities because she reads at breakfast or reads instead of getting dressed. How do I take a child's books away? It seems crazy to discourage her or scold her for reading. I love that she is a great reader and enjoys to read, but enough is enough.
A: Although most parents would be delighted if their children read a great deal, a child who does little else than read is surely having a problem. Although your daughter may only be curious and love learning, it's more likely she needs help being social or feels left out of social groups. At home, when she procrastinates by reading continuously, I expect it serves to bring her more of your attention. Develop a morning routine that gives her reading time only when she's completely ready for school. Even if she says she's happy reading, she needs more in her life. For her physical health, she should be getting exercise or be involved in some sport. And for her social adjustment, she requires some friendships.
The books she reads could also give you some insight about her motivation. If she plunges into learning about particular interests, her reading may be more positive than if she's reading mostly novels, which serve as escapes for her. Either way, I would suggest counseling to better understand her problem and to give her more social confidence.
For a free newsletter about social skills, send a self-addressed, stamped envelope to the address below.
Dr. Sylvia B. Rimm is the director of the Family Achievement Clinic in Cleveland, Ohio, a clinical professor of psychiatry and pediatrics at the Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine, and the author of many books on parenting. More information on raising kids is available at www.sylviarimm.com. Please send questions to: Sylvia B. Rimm on Raising Kids, P.O. Box 32, Watertown, WI 53094 or srimm@sylviarimm.com. To read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
----
|
