| Jane Horwitz "2012" (PG-13, 2 hrs., 31 min.)
All those folks on street corners with the placards warning "The End Is Near!" are right, it turns out, at least according to this clumsy, overlong, fake-looking, yet still surprisingly diverting thriller. It's the last half-hour that degenerates into silliness, a la "The Poseidon Adventure" (PG, 1972; remade in 2006 as "Poseidon," PG-13). Before that, teens -- especially those into science -- ought to get a charge out of "2012," as there's already been so much buzz about the film and other end-of-the-world predictions on the Internet.
It's fun to watch brilliant American scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) advising the president (Danny Glover) and his hard-bitten chief of staff (Oliver Platt) on what to do. Adrian and his scientist colleagues around the world know for certain that changes in the sun are affecting the Earth's crust, which is shifting and causing violent quakes and tsunamis that will engulf human civilization.
Into this apocalyptic mix lands divorced novelist Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), who takes his children (Liam James and Morgan Lily) on a camping trip to Yellowstone. They come upon a restricted area protected by the U.S. Army. Then they meet nutty radio talker Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) who tells his listeners that the ancient predictions are coming true -- the earth is going to have an epochal fireworks show and humanity will not survive.
Huge quakes in Los Angeles convince Jackson that Frost was right. Frost also told him that the U.S. and other governments have built huge "arks" designed to rescue a few hundred-thousand humans. Jackson tries to get his ex-wife (Amanda Peet), his kids and even his ex's new love (Thomas McCarthy) onto one of them. That means commandeering a small plane and somehow getting to China. (They also pass through Paris, which makes no sense.)
Back in Washington, Adrian spars with the president's chief of staff over when to tell the public of the catastrophe and about the fairness of choosing who gets rescued. The diverse nature of the casting and the film's world-conscious point of view are refreshing. The political correctness gets cloying, but at least the film isn't totally exploitative. It has a conscience. The film shows people falling to their deaths as buildings topple and being swept away by waves. There are bloody but nongraphic injuries, rare profanity and drinking. OK for most teens.
Beyond the Ratings Game: Movie Reviews for various ages
-- OK FOR MOST KIDS 8 AND OLDER:
"Astro Boy" PG -- "Astro Boy" is great fun once it gets going -- full of humor, action, vivid characters, and rich in film and literary references parents can expand on later. But the mayhem and the theme of parental rejection running through this computer-animated sci-fi fable (based on a 1951 Japanese manga comic that begot several TV 'toon series) make it more appropriate for kids 8 and older. Young Toby (voice of Freddie Highmore) lives among privileged humans in futuristic Metro City, which floats above a trash-filled Earth (shades of "WALL-E," G, 2008). When a warrior robot accidentally kills Toby early on, his heartbroken scientist father (Nicolas Cage) creates a robotic Toby, but then rejects his artificial "son." Seeing the robotic Toby is outfitted with weaponry, the evil General Stone (Donald Sutherland) sends forces to destroy him. Toby escapes to Earth, where he's befriended by orphans. Now Astro Boy, he must fight Stone's mechanized minions. There is gunplay and much destruction.
-- OK FOR MANY KIDS 10 AND OLDER:
"Disney's A Christmas Carol" PG -- Although it sticks pretty closely to the plot and dialogue of Dickens' classic fable, this film is mostly a showcase for actor Jim Carrey (intense and unfunny) and for advances in a particular type of computer animation. It is too frightening and humorless for kids under 10, some of whom may need lobby breaks during spookier scenes. Director/screenwriter Robert Zemeckis uses the same "performance capture" technology (shooting live actors, then overlaying their performances with animation) he used in "The Polar Express" (PG, 2004). This time he's added 3-D and dizzying 360-degree perspectives in some action sequences. Scrooge (voiced by Carrey, who also plays younger versions of Scrooge and the three Spirits who visit him) is so stooped, gnarled and angry, kids may actually be scared by 3-D close-ups of his arthritic hands. All the "visitations" are quite chilling, starting with Marley's ghost (Gary Oldman) appearing on Scrooge's door knocker. Happier moments -- at clerk Bob Cratchit's home (Oldman again as Cratchit and his son Tiny Tim) and with Scrooge's nephew Fred (Colin Firth) -- are overshadowed by the film's overall dourness. There are many scary, spooky, nightmarish scenes, vertiginous flying with the spirits, and a shot of a 19th-century Londoner taking snuff.
"Michael Jackson's This Is It" PG -- Michael Jackson fans and anyone 10 and older interested in how great performers work will be more than satisfied with this posthumous tribute -- put together by director Kenny Ortega after Jackson's sudden death on June 25 at age 50. Ortega had been rehearsing with Jackson for what was to be a series of 50 "This Is It" comeback concerts in London and had many hours of video footage from elaborate rehearsals. Jackson is preserving his voice a bit, but even so, he sings and dances many of his hits with his trademark panache. The odder aspects of his personality are not much on display. He comes across as a perfectionist and a pro. The dancers, including Jackson, do a lot of his trademark 1980s crotch-grabbing and there's some joking about that. A few other dance moves are mildly suggestive, too. Younger children may be startled by fireworks and flame effects.
"Where the Wild Things Are" PG -- Some parents may decide that this unusual adaptation of Maurice Sendak's beloved 1963 picture book is too intense to be a family film, but they'll be surprised at how easily kids 10 and older (and many who are younger) will get director Spike Jonze's unique take. He mixes live action with puppetry and animation to achieve a startling level of realism as he expands upon the story. Young Max (terrific Max Records), whose tantrums and unhappiness seem urgently authentic, has a fight with his mom (Catherine Keener) and runs away. Realism becomes fantasy as he sails through a storm and lands on an island where he becomes pals with the huge, furry, Wild Things. All his traits and troubles are echoed among them. The friendship starts as bumptious fun, but degenerates into arguments and sadness. Yet there is reconciliation as Max heads back to reality. This film is not for kids who have short attention spans, who find strongly portrayed emotions hard to deal with, or who could be scared into nightmares by the idea of stuffed animals becoming huge and alive in an alternate world. The Wild Things fight and hurt one another at times (not lethally, but a feathered arm gets pulled off), and say mean things.
-- PG-13s OF VARYING INTENSITY:
"2012" (NEW) -- All those folks on street corners with signs warning "the end is near" are right, it turns out, in this clumsy, overlong, fake-looking but kinda fun thriller. It's the last half-hour that degenerates into silliness. Before that, it's enjoyable to watch brilliant American scientist Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), the President of the United States (Danny Glover) and his hard-bitten chief of staff (Oliver Platt) agonize over what to do (and whether to tell "the people") when they realize that the Earth's crust is shifting and crumbling and that quakes and tsunamis will shortly destroy civilization. Into the mix also falls writer Jackson Curtis (John Cusack) who takes his children (Liam James and Morgan Lily) on a camping trip to Yellowstone and comes upon the U.S. Army guarding a restricted area. He also meets an eccentric radio broadcaster (Woody Harrelson) who's convinced that ancient Mayan predictions and other warnings are coming true. Jackson learns there are huge "ark" designed to rescue a few hundred-thousand humans and he tries to get his ex-wife (Amanda Peet), his kids and and even his ex's boyfriend (Thomas McCarthy) on one of them. The diverse nature of the casting and the film's world-conscious point of view are refreshing, especially when characters argue over the fairness of choosing who gets rescued. The film shows people falling to their deaths as buildings collapse or being swept away by waves. There are bloody but nongraphic injuries, and the implication that people are caught in huge gears on the ark. There is rare profanity and drinking.
"The Box" (NEW) -- A moral dilemma engulfs a nice married couple in this pretentious, disappointing thriller, adapted by writer/director Richard Kelly ("Donnie Darko," R, 2001) from a short story ("Button, Button") by Richard Matheson. Full of references to existentialist writer Jean-Paul Sartre's play about hell, "No Exit," the movie raises big ideas, but drowns in them. Cameron Diaz plays Norma, a high school teacher in 1976 Virginia. Her husband Arthur (James Marsden) is a NASA engineer who hopes to be an astronaut. They have a young son (Sam Oz Stone). A package appears on their doorstep before dawn. It contains a plain box with a button on it. Later that day, a distinguished man named Steward (Frank Langella) with a horrific facial injury (you can see sinew and teeth through his damaged cheek) appears and tells Norma that if she or Arthur is willing to push the button, someone they don't know will die, and they will receive a million dollars. Norma's choice sets in motion events that range from sci-fi body-snatcher stuff to secret government programs to divine retribution. None of it quite works. Langella is fun, but Marsden and Diaz seem out of their depth. In addition to Steward's face, the film shows a foot missing toes and people having nosebleeds. There are nongraphic gun deaths and a child in jeopardy. OK for teens.
"The Fourth Kind" -- Bunk and hooey are words that come to mind while viewing this barely scary sci-fi thriller about a psychologist in Nome, Alaska, who comes to believe her insomniac patients are victims of nighttime alien abduction. Director/screenwriter Olatunde Osunsanmi intercuts grainy videos of "actual" treatment sessions on which the movie is supposedly based, but the people in the videos are clearly actors, too, so it smells like a big hoax. Milla Jovovich as the psychologist lacks the acting chops to carry off her complex role. The film shows people seeming to relive horrific events while under hypnosis. There are themes about suicide and children grieving for their dead father. In a tragedy more implied than shown, a distraught man kills his family, then himself. In a climactic scene, children are snatched by alien forces. There are flashbacks to a violent murder, and occasional mild profanity. Too intense for middle-schoolers.
-- R's:
"Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire" (NEW) -- This raw, graphic, upsetting story of an abused teenage girl who slowly finds her way out of a horrific homelife is tough to watch and not for under-17s. Yet director Lee Daniels and his fantastic cast tell a riveting and finally uplifting tale that has much to say to adults about the lives of some girls who become invisible to society and even their peers. Claireece "Precious" Jones (gifted Gabourey Sidibe) is enormously heavy and failing in school. She has one baby with Down syndrome, which her grandmother raises, and she is pregnant again. Both pregnancies were the result of rape by her biological father, whom we only glimpse in graphic flashbacks as he violates her. Her negligent, resentful mother (comedian Mo'Nique) abuses her verbally, emotionally and physically. Expelled from school for being pregnant again, Precious takes a counselor's advice and enrolls in an alternative school. She's sullen at first and displays a violent temper. She can escape only into overeating or fantasies in which she's a star. But a teacher (Paula Patton) and a social worker (a de-glamorized Mariah Carey) eventually reach her and come to her aid. "Precious" tells of a human being's joyous rebirth. There is also strong profanity, drug use and drinking. Not for under-17s.
"The Men Who Stare at Goats" -- Amusing, ironic and terrifically acted, this tale about the American military, while a mild R that's OK for high-schoolers, will probably leave them cold. It's more for adults who remember Vietnam and the 1960s. Based on a nonfiction book by Jon Ronson, "The Men Who Stare at Goats" spoofs actual military research into nonviolent paranormal "alternative" warfare -- attempts at mind-reading, killing animals by staring at them. Ewan McGregor plays Bob, our narrator, a naive journalist who longs to cover the Iraq War. In Kuwait he meets Lyn (George Clooney), an oddball vet who tells him about the (fictionalized) Vietnam-era New Earth Army. They find a secret base in Iraq where a nasty New Earth alumni (Kevin Spacey) and the hippie officer (Jeff Bridges) who founded it are still experimenting. There is a battle flashback showing many dead bodies, implied torture of Iraqi prisoners, implied harm to animals, a suicide theme, gunplay, soldiers tripping on LSD, other drug use, drinking, profanity, and backview nudity.
"Paranormal Activity" -- A young couple, Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah (Micah Sloat), try to get rid of a ghost -- or demon -- that has begun to disturb their slumbers in this entertaining, if derivative hit, made for barely $15,000 with improvised dialogue. There is no on-screen violence (though there is briefly implied off-screen violence), only disturbing noises and an invisible force that moves doors and leaves other evidence of its presence. Micah decides to record their sleep on video to capture the disturbances, and what they see when they play it back becomes more and more eerie. Micah insists on trying to contact the spirit with a Ouija board -- bad move. The R rating reflects profanity and muted innuendo about the unwed couple's sex life. Characters drink wine. OK for high-schoolers and some middle-schoolers.
(c) 2009, Washington Post Writers Group.
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