Thursday, August 6, 2009

Today's Jokes Plus Improve Your PC's System Speed

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Credit Card

Did you ever get rejected for a credit card? I did years ago. I had just started my new job out of college. I felt responsible enough to handle my own credit card so I applied for an American Express card.

Weeks later I received a letter stating that my job was not good enough to be accepted for the card. Funny enough, I was employed at American Express.

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Property Manager

A property manager of single-family residence was showing a unit to prospective tenants and asking the usual questions. "Professionally employed?" he asked.

"We're a military family," the wife answered.

"Children?"

"Oh, yes, ages nine and twelve," she answered proudly.

"Animals?"

"Oh, no," she said earnestly. "They're very well behaved."

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Epidural

My niece, pregnant with her second child, was certain she wanted an epidural for pain management during childbirth. Her doctor asked her at which stage of labor she wanted the epidural administered.

Her response: "Just meet me in the parking lot!"

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The Greatest Benefits of Being Over 40...

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?"

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

There is nothing left to learn the hard way.

You can eat dinner at 4 P.M.

You enjoy hearing about other peoples operations.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your eyes won't get much worse.

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

You can't remember who sent you this list.

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Health News and Advice for Women

Start the new year right with health and beauty tips just for you from ArcaMax Women.

A free subscription to this ezine brings you new daily tips, as well as women's interest news and tips from Annie's Mailbox.

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-- From the ArcaMax editors

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