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| Devil Shopping The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.
"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it.'"
"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Just tell him, "Get behind me, Satan!"
"I did," replied his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"
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| Got Bugs? My husband works as a service technician for a large exterminating company.
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| Physics One day our physics professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept. A pre-med student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So, how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor. |
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| Bad Analogies ...from a high school essay
7) He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
6) The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
5) Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."
4) Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
3) John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
2) The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
1) The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon.
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| Australia sending messages to deep space An Australian magazine is giving people a chance to send a message to far-distant planets, assuming anyone is out there to listen. Sound too weird to be true? Read the entire story and see for yourself!
For more crazy headlines like this, sign up for ArcaMax's free Weird News ezine. You'll get new stories by e-mail every weekday morning covering events that are bizarre, unbelievable, and absolutely true.
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-- From the ArcaMax editors |
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