| - Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Visit Dunkin Donuts FREE for a Year! Just take our survey and complete the participation
requirements to receive FREE $50 Master Card Gift Cards
to redeem at any participating Dunkin Donuts! Click here to get started... | |
| Spelling Difficulties The teacher says to her new class, "For our first lesson, each of you will stand up, tell us your name, what your father does, spell what your father does, and then explain it to us. All right, Billy. You go first."
Billy stands up and says, "My name's Billy. My father's a lawyer, l-a-w-y-e-r, and he defends people in court."
The teacher says, "Very good. All right, Benjamin."
Tyrone stands up and says, "My name's Benjamin. My father's a pharmacist, f-a-m... f-a-r-n... f-n..."
The teacher says, "Benjamin, you go home tonight and learn how to spell pharmacist. All right, Angelo."
Angelo stands up and says, "My name's Angelo. My old man's a bookie, b-o-o-k-i-e, and if he was here, he'd give you nine-to-five odds Benjamin ain't spellin' pharmacist by tomorrow."
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Make Money on eBay Today, Tomorrow and everyday after that. You can get a piece of the 10.8 billion dollar eBay pie.
Our kit makes it so simple, that even a dummy could do it.
It's fast, easy and costs almost nothing to get started. Start Earning Money Today!
With over 42 million registered users, eBay is the wave
of the future. Our FREE kit tells you how you can secure
YOUR future.
Click and get this Free Kit! |
| Windows Problem An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong.
Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide.
Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?"
Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized."
Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?"
Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'"
Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?"
Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Repair Scratched Wood Instantly Stop covering up embarrassing scratches...recover it with
Fix It Wood. Just spray it on, wipe clean and the scratch
is gone. Fix It Wood works on all types of wood colors,
stains and grains. So whether your wood is dark, light or
in between it repairs it instantly. The wood scratch has
met its match. Click here for details... |
| New Game Back in the days of the Roman Empire, the famous Emperor Nero instituted a new game. The players would take those little disks you set your glass on in order to protect the furniture, and see who could get the most distance rolling them across the floor.
They were the first roller coasters.
Back in those days, the disks were made of iron, and they would bet on whose disk would roll the farthest.
They called them ferrous wheels. |
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Flush away unwanted weight! Oxyslim is a must see, must use product that can
boost your metabolism and give you the energy
that you need to enjoy life! Don't pass up on the chance to get a risk free trial
of Oxyslim and start to see the energy return and
pounds start to shed. Click here to learn more! |
| Cynical Meanings Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool on the other.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either."
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power...
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic: A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Get Your Garden Ready for Fall Autumn is just around the corner -- is your garden ready? Let ArcaMax help with tips from the Gardening ezine.
Get quick and easy tips for your fruits and vegetables, check your local weather, and view photos of your fellow readers' own gardens. You can also submit your own, and invite family and friends to vote to make it the most popular of the month!
Subscribe to ArcaMax Gardening instantly.
Find out more before subscribing.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
| To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
| ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
| Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address:
duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link:
http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe
It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.
729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard
Suite B
Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. |
| |
No comments:
Post a Comment