| - Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Test and Keep a Dell XPS M1530 Laptop Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive
a FREE Dell XPS M1530 Laptop! Take advantage of this unique offer and indulge
yourself with a FREE Dell XPS M1530 Laptop! Claim yours now... it's easy:
Visit to receive your FREE Dell XPS M1530 Laptop!
Just Choose your favorite color to get started:
See offer details | |
| Frying Eggs The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling...
"CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"
The wife was very upset, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"
The husband calmly replied, "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Make your internet experience more rewarding by getting
paid daily for trying your favorite products and services. Our 100% FREE website, SendEarnings, will reward you instantly
for taking surveys and trying everyday items. Plus if you
get started today, we'll bonus you $3! Here is what makes SendEarnings great...
- Get paid online through Paypal or request a Check by mail
- 24/7 customer service
- Lots of chances to earn cash So what are you waiting for?
Join now and start receiving cash INSTANTLY |
| Paradise Lost Two men who haven't seen each other for many years meet on the street. One asks the other how things have been.
"Wonderful, for a while," the other says. "I had it all: money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman. Then, one day, poof! It was all gone."
"What a shame," the friend says. "What on Earth happened?"
Says the other man: "My wife found out."
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor Connect with select eldercare providers for free Find expert senior care providers with ElderCare Connect.
We will recommend trusted, reliable providers in your area
free of charge. Find the help you or a loved one needs
today, for free! Click here for details... |
| Fishing Terms Explained Catch and Release -
A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.
Hook -
1. A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. 2. A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. 3. The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings, (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook)
Line -
Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.
Lure -
An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.
Reel -
A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.
Rod -
An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.
School -
A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for Spam instead.
Tackle -
What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.
Tackle Box -
A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive 'first aid kit'. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.
Test -
1. The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range.
2. A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Sponsor "Save My Marriage!" Have You Ever Stayed Awake at Night
Stressing About Whether or not
Your Marriage Will Last... And What Can You Possibly do to Save it? Now you can put an end to the stress and
anxiety of not knowing what to do to
Save Your Troubled Marriage! AND Discover Proven Methods to
Getting Your Marriage Back On Track -
EVEN if you are the only one
who wants to work on it... Read this online report & Save your marriage |
| The Jury A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not guilty.
Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, "How could you possibly have found this man innocent?"
The foreman replied, "Insanity."
The perplexed prosecutor asked, "All twelve of you?"
|
| Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend |
| Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com!
Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later.
You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more.
Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions.
Visit BookDaily.com now.
-- From the ArcaMax editors |
| To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel. |
| ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format.
Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers |
| Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address:
duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit:
http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link:
http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe
It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc.
729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard
Suite B
Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners. |
| |
No comments:
Post a Comment