Today's Jokes Plus Safely Talk and Drive At the Same Time

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Men Are Like... Men are like..... Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like..... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like..... Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. Men are like..... Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like..... Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. Men are like..... Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.
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Monopoly Growing up as a kid, I learned all about capitalism through the board game Monopoly. I mean, what better way to teach a young mind the way our economy functions. I loved this game and still do. Only now, as an adult I have some questions that remain unanswered. For instance, if I have all this money and own all this real estate...why am I still driving around in a thimble?
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Optometrist We were helping customers when the store optometrist walked by and flirted with a co-worker. Of course, we all had to stop what we were doing to tease her. But she quickly dis- missed the notion of a budding romance. "Can you imagine making out with an optometrist?" she asked. "It would always be, 'Better like this...or like this?'" [Borrowed from Reader's Digest.]
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Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com! Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later. You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more. Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions. Visit BookDaily.com now. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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