| - Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Three Free Packs Of Chips Ahoy Cookies Select your favorite and get three free packs! Click to continue... | |
| Procrastinator's Creed You may wish to delay reading this until you have more free time.
1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done already.
2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find excuses.
3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.
4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in propoartion to the amount of bodily injury I could expect to recieve from missing them.
5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possiblity for new technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my obligations.
6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of the amount of time given.
7. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.
8. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to change my mind.
9. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or write the first word, when I get around to it.
10. I will never put off tomorrow, what I can forget about forever.
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| Young Ones in Love? A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. . . perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"
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| Parole Board The Bureau of prisons just announced the release of a serial bank robber who had looted over 30 banks before his capture.
The parole board says he is completely rehabilitated and has found employment at his home in Prague.
Yes, that is correct...
They were able to right a bad czech. |
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| Sponsor  |
| Sports Team Names Top 19 Rejected International Sports Team Names:
19. Brussels Sprouts
18. Cannes Openers
17. Amsterdam Yankees
16. Vienna Sausages
15. Belgium Waffles
14. Manila Folders
13. Czech Bouncers
12. New Dehli Catessans
11. Buenos Airheads
10. Guadalajara Krishnas
9. Iraqi Raccoons
8. Bolivia DeHavillands
7. Seoul Brothers
6. Taipei Personalities
5. Syria Killers
4. Hungary Jacks
3. Dublin Mint Twins
2. Prague Tologists
1. Peking Toms
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| Advice from Carolyn Hax Advice columnist Carolyn Hax is famous for her ability to get to the root of people's problems -- not just what they say, but who they are and what they're thinking.
The resulting advice is often ruthless, sometimes controversial, and always hilarious.
See for yourself what great advice Hax has to offer. Subscribe to ArcaMax's Carolyn Hax ezine, and receive her witty, helpful advice free by e-mail!
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-- From the ArcaMax editors |
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