Today's Jokes Plus Free PC Diagnostic Scan

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Why is my PC so slow? Computers slow down. It's unavoidable. What's worse is that over time they begin to exhibit error messages. If the problems persist, they freeze up or even crash! RegTOOL offers a solution to these problems, and using it is fast and easy. In under two minutes it can detect and repair corrupt paths, outdated shortcuts and duplicate entries, sweeping away the hurdles to optimal PC performance. Free diagnostic scan available here If you're fed up with slow computer performance, system crashes, or slow boot up speeds, look into RegTOOL and maximize your PC's performance!
Cross-eyed Rotweiler A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog's cross eyed. Is there anything you can do for him?" "Well," says the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy"
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Men Quotes "All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others." Henry Youngman "To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'." Rita Rudner "This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.' I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'" Judy Tenuta "Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks." Jean Kerr "Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison." Tim Allen "I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags." Gwyneth Paltrow
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Computer Heaven, Computer Hell In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and construction is done by Apple, The marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, Gateway determines the pricing. In Computer Hell: The management is from Apple, Microsoft does design and construction, IBM handles the marketing, The support is from Gateway, Intel sets the price.
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Swimming with Sharks Did you hear about the lawyer on vacation whose sailboat capsized in dangerous, shark-infested waters? He surprised his traveling companions by volunteering to swim to the far-off shore for help. As he swam, his companions were startled by the appearance of two dorsal fins -- great white sharks, heading straight toward the lawyer. To their surprise, the sharks allowed the lawyer to take hold of their fins, and escorted him safely to shore. When the lawyer returned with help, his companions asked him how he had managed such an incredible feat. The lawyer answered, "Professional courtesy."
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Health News and Advice for Women Start the new year right with health and beauty tips just for you from ArcaMax Women. A free subscription to this ezine brings you new daily tips, as well as women's interest news and tips from Annie's Mailbox. Subscribe to ArcaMax Women instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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