Today's Jokes Plus Get Rid of Harmful Toxins and Easily Lose Weight

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: ACAI BERRY TRIPLE STACK 3 in 1: Acai Berries + Green Tea + Caralluma Get rid of Harmful Toxins and Easily Lose Weight. - Flush excess pounds of waste - Have more energy - Boost your metabolism - Feel great - Look younger - Eat less Click here to get your FREE trial...
Dear Agony Aunt Dear Editor, I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber. My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft? Sincerely, Larry
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Bar Competition The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it. One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice " I'd like to try the bet" After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "what do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The man replied "I work for the IRS."
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Medical Problem A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills. The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water." Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "Jeez doc, exactly what's my problem?" The Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
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Good and Bad News The doctor took Dan into the room and said, "Dan, I have some good news and some bad news." Dan said, "Give me the good news." "They're going to name a disease after you."
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Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com! Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later. You'll find books from Sally Jenkins, Randy Pausch, Christie Golden, and many more. Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions. Visit BookDaily.com now. -- From the ArcaMax editors
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

Full Court Records

Private Information Now Available Not too long ago, only the police department and the government could access private information. Now the law has changed and you too can investigate others, including employees, delivery people, vendors coming to your home, possible dates, new neighbors, and even long-time acquaintances. With our legal and easy-to-use database, you can research information about almost everyone in the United States, Canada and Western Europe. You can now discover important, needed details about others, including arrests, bankruptcies, judgments and old marriage records. Please click now to begin your search.

Manage Your Subscriptions You are currently subscribed as duncanjax@gmail.com. To unsubscribe from this newsletter, please notify us here or visit https://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/custacct. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc., 729 Thimble Shoals Blvd., Suite 1-B, Newport News, VA 23606 | FAX (757) 596-9731 Copyright © 2008 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Advertise With Us | Contact the Editor | FAQ/Help ArcaMax Publishing websites: www.arcamax.com (Family-Friendly News & Fun) www.bookdaily.com (Book Samples for Book Lovers) www.arcamundo.com (en español)

arbcombo -- Refrigerant Management Program public workshop

A statewide public workshop will be held August 24, 2009 to
discuss the updated proposal for the Refrigerant Management
Program.

ARB staff will present an overview of the sector, efforts to
date, the updated draft preliminary results of the emissions
inventory, cost analysis, and the draft regulatory language.
This workshop will be held in Sacramento and broadcast via
webcast.

Date: Monday, August 24, 2009
Time: 10:00 an - 12:00 noon PST
Location: Byron Sher Auditorium (2F), 1001 I St, Sacramento, CA
Directions to site:
http://www.calepa.ca.gov/EPABldg/location.htm
Webcast: http://www.calepa.ca.gov/broadcast/?BDO=1

You are receiving this single arbcombo email because you are a
subscriber to or have made a public comment to one or more of the
following lists: cc, commref, reftrack.

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The energy challenge facing California is real. Every Californian
needs to take immediate action to reduce energy consumption. For
a list of simple ways you can reduce demand and cut your energy
costs, visit the Flex Your Power website at www.fypower.org .
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Acne impacting your teen? Perhaps more than you realize.

Tell your teen acne (even mild) is a medical conditon. Sign up now to get Clearly in Control. Get your teen's prescription acne treatment for no more than $20.* Get instant savings now >> * For prescription costs up to $200 ©2009 Galderma Laboratories, L.P. United States, All Rights Reserved. All trademarks are the property of their respective owners. This site intended for U.S. audiences only. Information in this website is not intended as medical advice. Talk to your doctor about medical concerns. Privacy | Legal | Contact Us This email was sent by: Galderma Laboratories 14501 N. Freeway Ft. Worth, TX, 76177, USA Unsubscribe

Manage Your Subscriptions You are currently subscribed as duncanjax@gmail.com. To unsubscribe from this newsletter, please notify us here or visit https://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/custacct. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc., 729 Thimble Shoals Blvd., Suite 1-B, Newport News, VA 23606 | FAX (757) 596-9731 Copyright © 2008 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Advertise With Us | Contact the Editor | FAQ/Help ArcaMax Publishing websites: www.arcamax.com (Family-Friendly News & Fun) www.bookdaily.com (Book Samples for Book Lovers) www.arcamundo.com (en español)

Term Life with no physical

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A Final Notification

Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05
Batch: R3/A312-59
Dear Email Owner
This is A final notification to inform you that your email address have just
won a cash price of £850,000 .00 Pounds in the
UK National e-Lottery Online Sweepstakes
you are to contact the online claims agent.
Name: Barrister Charles Lambert
Provide the Following Information:
Name, Address, Age, Sex, Tel, Occupation
Online Coordinator
Katie Anne Longacre
Brookelyn Loeffler

Jokes for Friday July 31, 2009

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: "Why Companies Use Surveys & Focus Groups" And why that's good for you... Companies have to "test market" new ideas *before* spending a bundle and possibly loosing millions. And you can be rewarded for helping them... Perfect for stay-at-home moms, students, or newly retired folks. Or anyone looking for some extra spending money. Read more today...Select this link. You can make anywhere from $5 up to $150/hour just for taking surveys online It's easy, fast & fun! True! You Can receive compensation for:   * Taking online surveys   * Participating in focus groups   * Trying & Keeping new products   * Even Preview movie trailers Visit here to find out more.
These Lights Halfway through a romantic dinner out, my husband smiled and said, “You look so beautiful under these lights.” I was falling in love all over again when he added, “We gotta get some of these lights.”
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Salmon After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. “About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?” “Neither,” she said. “It’s a fish.”
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Eating a Quarter “What should I do?” I pleaded over the phone. My extremely laid-back vet answered calmly, “Swallowing a quarter is nothing to worry about. But if he does it again and a can of pop shoots out of his rear, give me a call.”
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Peat Moss A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss. She gave a personal check in payment and said to the clerk, “I suppose you will want some identification.” He replied, without hesitation, “No ma’am, that won’t be necessary.” “How come?” asked the woman. “Crooks don’t buy peat moss.” answered the clerk.
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See the USA This Summer Whether you're taking an educational trip with your family or just looking for a peaceful getaway, ArcaMax's United States Travel Guide will give you great ideas for fun ways to spend your summer. If you're looking for a different location, thinking ahead to later this year, or just looking for quick and easy travel tips, start reading the ArcaMax Travel ezine. You can also submit your own photos to the photo gallery and see other reader pictures. Vote on your favorites, and encourage your friends and family to vote to make yours the most popular of the month! Subscribe to ArcaMax Travel instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05

Ref: LSUK/2031/8161/05
Batch: R3/A312-59
Dear Email Owner
This is A final notification to inform you that your email address have just
won a cash price of £850,000 .00 Pounds in the
UK National e-Lottery Online Sweepstakes
you are to contact the online claims agent.
Name: Barrister Charles Lambert
Email: charleslambert@w.cn
Provide the Following Information:
Name, Address, Age, Sex, Tel, Occupation
Online Coordinator
Katie Anne Longacre
Brookelyn Loeffler
For claims proceedures Send your details to ( charleslambert@w.cn )Only.

cc -- Registration Now Available: August 21 - Climate Change Forum at UCLA

Registration is now available for the August 21 - "Climate Change
Forum: Creating Security & Prosperity for the 21st Century".

DATE: Friday, August 21, 2009
TIME: 10:00 AM - 12:00 PM
LOCATION: Korn Hall, UCLA

Please join UCLA in welcoming Rep. Henry Waxman (CA-30) and Sen.
Fran Pavley (SD-23) for a public forum on landmark state and
federal climate legislation. The program will feature Mary
Nichols, Chair of the California Air Resources Board, along with
distinguished science and policy experts who will discuss the
latest climate research and the economic opportunities arising
from climate policies. The Forum will focus on the interplay
between AB 32 - California's landmark climate legislation, and
the American Clean Energy and Security Act, recently approved by
the House of Representatives.

SEATING IS LIMITED - RESERVATION BY ONLINE REGISTRATION ONLY

Register here:
http://www.ats.ucla.edu/cfapps/events/rsvp/RSVPNow.cfm?EveID=2966&SecID=2959

More information:
http://www.ioe.ucla.edu/cccs/ClimateChangeForum/

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Please go to http://www.arb.ca.gov/listserv/listserv.php and enter
your email address and click on the button "Display Email Lists."
To unsubscribe, please click inside the appropriate box to uncheck it
and go to the bottom of the screen to submit your request. You will
receive an automatic email message confirming that you have
successfully unsubscribed. Also, please read our listserve disclaimer
at http://www.arb.ca.gov/listserv/disclaim.htm .

The energy challenge facing California is real. Every Californian
needs to take immediate action to reduce energy consumption. For
a list of simple ways you can reduce demand and cut your energy
costs, see our website at www.arb.ca.gov.
======================================================================

Great news for dogs with joint problems

DENVER, CO - It’s a dog fact of life that you can’t avoid. Your best friend in the whole world is growing older a lot faster than you are. Activities like climbing stairs, jumping in the car, rising from a nap, or just going for a walk are getting more and more difficult. And you know how painful it can be… not just for your dog, but for you and your family too. But now, there’s something giving older dogs new-found hope. This is the incredible story of how a patented micronutrient—the same one found in expensive European skin creams—is proving to be your dog’s best fight against arthritis, old-age and disease. And for those dogs lucky enough to get it, they may also experience fewer allergies, healthier skin and coat, improved >> Click here to read the full story To unsubscribe from the Flavocin e-mail list, please click here or mail ProPet Sciences, 10195 Westside Ct, Littleton, CO 80125

Manage Your Subscriptions You are currently subscribed as duncanjax@gmail.com. To unsubscribe from this newsletter, please notify us here or visit https://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/custacct. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc., 729 Thimble Shoals Blvd., Suite 1-B, Newport News, VA 23606 | FAX (757) 596-9731 Copyright © 2008 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Advertise With Us | Contact the Editor | FAQ/Help ArcaMax Publishing websites: www.arcamax.com (Family-Friendly News & Fun) www.bookdaily.com (Book Samples for Book Lovers) www.arcamundo.com (en español)