Today's Jokes Plus Coffee for Two

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Coffee-for-Two Never Tasted So Good - Order today and get a FREE Coffee-for-Two coffeemaker - Free coffeemaker lets you brew two different blends at one time. - FREE thermal mugs to take on the go - 2 half-pound boxes of Gevalia coffee - No further obligation GET ALL THIS FOR $9.95 plus S&H! Find yourself in one of our coffees. Explore some of the unique choices Gevalia has waiting for you. Click here
Fisherman's Ode Two old men were fishing off a bridge as they had done daily for many years. Suddenly a funeral procession came down the road. The one old man reeled in his line, lain down his pole, faced the street and bowed his head until the procession had passed. He then picked up his pole and started fishing again. The other fisherman was amazed and stated "I didn't know you were that religious." The other looked at him and said, "Least I could do, we've been married 42 years!"
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Clean Windshields without Straining or Stretching Windshield Wonder is the easy reach microfiber window cleaner that eliminates straining and stretching. It uses a 16" handle to help reach all the way down to the dash and base of your rear window. Windshield Wonder is also perfect for moisture and fog removal. Get two for the price of one when you order today. Order now!...
Great Truths About Growing Old 1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. 2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get. 3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there. 4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster. 5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions. 6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. 7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Do You Owe the IRS? TaxSettlements could help you settle for less! Remove Tax Liens, Avoid filing bankruptcy Tax debt freedom, Stop wage garnishment Start Now!
Johnny Maths Little Johnny was going to a public school and he was doing very badly in maths. So his mother decided to put him into a Catholic school. When she got his report card at the end of the term, his marks in maths had improved tremendously. So she asked him why. He replied "When I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they meant business!"
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Sponsor Get Away from Aspartame Dangers! Zapp Gum is the healthy choice. You may not know it, but the gum you chew is littered with artificial sweeteners. See why thousands have switched. Don't be caught without it! Switch to the healthy alternative. Click here for details...
Under The Table A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Oh no, My husband just walked in the door."
Comment on this Story | Printer Friendly | Send Story to a Friend
Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com! Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later. You'll find books from Mark R. Levin, Steve Turner, Dean Koontz, and many more. Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions. Visit BookDaily.com now. -- From the ArcaMax editors
To see more Jokes, visit the Jokes channel.
ArcaMax proudly distributes 75 popular newsletters, including Garfield, Recipes, Bible Verses, Gardening and Business Success. To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg ArcaMax publications are now available in an "advertising-free" format. Click here for details. We invite you to visit BookDaily: Book Samples for Book Lovers
Thank you for your subscription to Jokes from ArcaMax with the following email address: duncanjax@gmail.com Jokes from ArcaMax may be non-commercially distributed unedited! Please share it! Pass it along to friends, family and associates. SUBSCRIBING To Subscribe to any of our Newsletters visit: http://www.arcamax.com/cgi-bin/reg UNSUBSCRIBING To discontinue this newsletter - Select this link Having Trouble? You may also try this link: http://www.arcamax.com/unsubscribe It is our policy and practice not to send unwanted email. ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. 729 Thimble Shoals Boulevard Suite B Newport News, VA 23606 Copyright 1996-2009 ArcaMax Publishing, Inc. All Rights Reserved. All registered trademarks are the property of their respective owners.