Fwd: Today's Jokes Plus A Salon Perfect Pedicure at Home

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: ArcaMax Jokes <ezines@arcamax.com>
Date: Thu, Jun 18, 2009 at 12:28 AM
Subject: Today's Jokes Plus A Salon Perfect Pedicure at Home
To: duncanjax@gmail.com

- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: Pedi Pistol Smooth and remove the roughest, dry, callused skin without the strain. Pedi Pistol is motorized and has an extra long arm that allows you to reach your toe nail without bending over. It comes with five sculpting heads that are designed to give you a great pedicure every time. Enjoy a salon perfect pedicure at the home with Pedi Pistol. Click here for details...
Messing with the Mafia A Mafia Godfather, accompanied by his attorney, walks into a room to meet with his former accountant. The Godfather asks the accountant, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The accountant does not answer. The Godfather asks again, "Where is the 3 million bucks you embezzled from me?" The attorney interrupts, "Sir, the man is a deaf mute and cannot understand you, but I can interpret for you." The Godfather says, "Well ask him where my darn money is!" The attorney, using sign language, asks the accountant where the 3 million dollars is. The accountant signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about." The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He doesn't know what you are talking about." The Godfather pulls out a 9 millimeter pistol, puts it to the temple of the accountant, cocks the trigger and says, "Ask him again where my darn money is!" The attorney signs to the accountant, "He wants to know where it is!" The accountant signs back, "Okay, okay, okay! The money is hidden in a brown suitcase behind the shed in my backyard!" The Godfather says, "Well....what did he say?" The attorney interprets to the Godfather, "He says...buzz off.....that you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."
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Diamonds It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. 'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
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Referee Debate As two NBA basketball referees walked through the countryside, they noticed some tracks. First said, 'Deer tracks?' Second said 'No, bear tracks.' However, the conversation ended abruptly when a train hit them.
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Robo Teacher A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.
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