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- Here is your ArcaMax Jokes Ezine, sponsored today by: "Give me ONE Day and I'll make your lawn the most dazzling spectacle on the block..." Discover why this professional gardener is finally revealing his secret, natural recipes, which took 50 years to develop... AND why he always refused to sell them to multi- national companies. Obtain a great lawn almost instantly: Select this link to read the whole story.
Drunk Giraffe A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink and after a while they order the same again. They continue all night, ordering the same drinks, drinking them and ordering another load untill suddenly the giraffe falls off his stool and lies unconscious on the floor. The man gets up of his stool and heads for the door, The barman shouts at him as he heads out the door 'You can't leave that lyin' here!' To which the man replies, 'It's not a lion its a giraffe!
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A Horse Walks Into A Bar A horse walks into a bar, he sits down and the bartender asks him, "Why the long face?" The second horse walks in with jumper cables attached to it's head, he sits down, and the bartender says, "I don't mind the long face, but don't you go and try to start anything!"
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Money Quotes "Money isn't everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children." J. Paul Getty "A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'" Lord Barnett "Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be." Rita Rudner "If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to." Dorothy Parker "My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income." Errol Flynn
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Politics Quotes "A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar." H. L. Mencken "Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties." George Clooney "Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material." Dave Letterman "Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living." P. J. ORourke "Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary." Robert Louis Stevenson "Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book." Ronald Reagan
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Free Recipes from the Culinary World Get free modern and classic recipes, food trivia, and more from the Culinary World ezine. Every Sunday, Chef James brings you great dishes to try from the past and present, quizzes to test your food knowledge, and funny and insightful quotes from famous writers about the joys of cooking. For more free recipes every day of the week, including healthy eating alternatives and gourmet meals from Wolfgang Puck, sign up for the free ArcaMax Recipes bundle. Subscribe to the ArcaMax Recipes bundle instantly. Find out more before subscribing. -- From the ArcaMax editors
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