Sunday, August 30, 2009

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LivePerson Connection - August 2009 Newsletter

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The Art of Meditation

Written By MasterZ

Meditation can benefit everyone. Everyone? Helpful for everyone? Yes, that's a bold statement, but, if anyone sets up a regular meditation practice they will realize benefits beyond what was originally intended.

I say this based on my own meditation practice and as a meditation teacher for many years. Some of the benefits...



Q&A with our Experts

Q1: I have a problem with my eldest son and also now, lately, with my daughter. They are angry with me because of a divorce many years ago and accuse me of being full of self pity, it feels like we dont have the same close relationship as we used to have. I had a tuff time after the divorce, and I am not sure they realize what it really meant to me to start all over alone, but I also regret having told them maybe too much about it. What can I do to make it up to them again?

A1: You can't change the past, but you can change the present by not allowing guilt to play you. As they grow they will learn, but now, you are to stand firm. --by Expert Ms Lisa M


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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Today's Jokes Plus Test and Keep a Dell XPS M1530 Laptop - FREE!

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Frying Eggs

The wife was busy frying eggs, when her husband came home. He walked into the kitchen and immediately started yelling...

"CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! MORE OIL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM NOW!!! WE NEED MORE OIL!!! THEY ARE GOING TO STICK!!! CAREFUL!!! CAREFUL!!! TURN THEM!!! TURN THEM!!! HURRY UP!!! ARE YOU CRAZY!!!! THE OIL IS GOING TO SPILL!!! USE MORE SALT!!! THE SALT!!!!"

The wife was very upset, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you yelling like this? Do you think I don't know how to fry an egg?"

The husband calmly replied, "This is to show you what it feels like for me when I am driving and you sit next to me..."

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Paradise Lost

Two men who haven't seen each other for many years meet on the street. One asks the other how things have been.

"Wonderful, for a while," the other says. "I had it all: money, a magnificent house, a fast car, the love of a beautiful woman. Then, one day, poof! It was all gone."

"What a shame," the friend says. "What on Earth happened?"

Says the other man: "My wife found out."

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Fishing Terms Explained

Catch and Release -

A conservation motion that happens most often right before the local Fish and Game officer pulls over a boat that has caught over it's limit.

Hook -

1. A curved piece of metal used to catch fish. 2. A clever advertisement to entice a fisherman to spend his life savings on a new rod and reel. 3. The punch administered by said fisherman's wife after he spends their life savings, (see also, Right Hook, Left Hook)

Line -

Something you give your co-workers when they ask on Monday how your fishing went the past weekend.

Lure -

An object that is semi-enticing to fish, but will drive an angler into such a frenzy that he will charge his credit card to the limit before exiting the tackle shop.

Reel -

A weighted object that causes a rod to sink quickly when dropped overboard.

Rod -

An attractively painted length of fiberglass that keeps an angler from ever getting too close to a fish.

School -

A grouping in which fish are taught to avoid your $29.99 lures and hold out for Spam instead.

Tackle -

What your last catch did to you as you reeled him in, but just before he wrestled free and jumped back overboard.

Tackle Box -

A box shaped alarmingly like your comprehensive 'first aid kit'. Only a tackle box contains many sharp objects, so that when you reach in the wrong box blindly to get a Band Aid, you soon find that you need more than one.

Test -

1. The amount of strength a fishing line affords an angler when fighting fish in a specific weight range.

2. A measure of your creativity in blaming "that darn line" for once again losing the fish.

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The Jury

A prosecuting attorney just could not believe that a jury had found the defendant not guilty.

Astonished, he asked the jury foreman, "How could you possibly have found this man innocent?"

The foreman replied, "Insanity."

The perplexed prosecutor asked, "All twelve of you?"

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Choose from 60,000 Books -- Get Your Free Samples at BookDaily.com

ArcaMax Publishing has launched the new BookDaily.com!

Browse, search and read sample first chapters from your favorite authors -- and sign up for free email newsletters with the book samples you want to read later.

You'll find books from Lisa Jackson, Tucker Max, Brian Herbert, and many more.

Once you have given the site a look, we welcome any feedback or suggestions.

Visit BookDaily.com now.

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