Boardash: Women for Friday October 23, 2009

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Women
For You
Friday October 23, 2009

Health and Beauty Tip -- Smooth Flyaways
First lady: Teachers are leaders
Annie's Mailbox
Quote of the Day
Carve the Perfect Jack-O-Lantern

Health and Beauty Tip -- Smooth Flyaways

For small, fine flyaways, don't layer on even more hairspray. Take a baby toothbrush, spray it with hairspray, and brush the flyaway hair gently into place.

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First lady: Teachers are leaders

WASHINGTON (UPI) -- Vision, sense of purpose and the ability to inspire are qualities of great teachers and great leaders, U.S. first lady Michelle Obama says.

"As (President Barack Obama) has frequently said, in a 21st century global economy where jobs can be shipped to any place with an Internet connection, and children here in America will be competing with children around the world for the same jobs, a good education is no longer just one road to opportunity -- it is the only road," Obama wrote in a commentary posted Thursday on U.S. News and World Report's Web site.

Reports indicate, however, that as many as a third of America's 3.2 million teachers could retire during the next four years, Obama said. The Education Department has projected schools will hire as many as 1 million new teachers.

"Today, we need a new generation of leaders to take their place in our nation's schools," she said. "We need passionate, talented, committed men and women to step up and devote themselves to preparing our students to succeed in this new century."

But teachers are only part of the equation, she said. Parents must ensure homework gets done and limit television and video gaming. Colleges and universities must redouble their efforts to prepare teachers for the classroom. The federal government must support efforts to recruit and retain teachers, and to reward high-performing teachers.

Along those lines, the president has invested $3 billion to turn around struggling schools and proposed a nationwide teacher recruitment program, she said.

When thinking of qualities that make an outstanding teacher -- patience, vision, purpose, creativity, inspiration -- "we realize: these are also the qualities of a great leader," she said.

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Annie's Mailbox

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar

Dear Annie: I am one of 12 siblings. My younger brother, "Dan," age 42, met "Karen," one of my daughter's friends, at her college graduation ceremony. He later married her. Since then, the two of them have tried to redefine their relationship with my daughter to suit their own needs.

Dan demands that my daughter not call him "uncle." My guess is he thinks it will make Karen's friends accept him as a peer. This causes my daughter conflict and pain. Karen excludes my daughter from their family-hosted functions, yet talks in detail about these events when my daughter and her friends have their girls' night out.

My brothers support Dan's position. Now I hear that Karen badmouths my daughter to my sisters-in-law and is revealing personal problems about those same sisters-in-law to work mates. This situation is deteriorating quickly. How can I best help my daughter? -- Mississippi

Dear Mississippi: Like it or not, Dan is entitled to be addressed however he wishes. If he doesn't want your daughter to call him "uncle," she should respect that. If he wants to be treated as Karen's husband rather than your brother, encourage her to make an effort to do so in order to salvage a relationship with both of them. Dan is never going to be the person you want him to be, and the reasons behind his foolish behavior are irrelevant. The best way to help your daughter is to teach her to tolerate loved ones whose behavior they cannot change. (On the other hand, Karen's big mouth will soon make her unwelcome everywhere.)

Dear Annie: I'm getting married next year and don't know who to choose as my bridesmaids. I have three friends, one of whom I've known for more than 10 years. I have not spoken to the other two in months. They don't even know I'm engaged. I have put a lot of distance between us for a few reasons. One of the women is extremely obese, and I've exhausted myself trying to help her lose weight, but she refuses to work on it.

Both women are immature, still live at home, have no desire to grow as adults and are loud and obnoxious in public. I'm afraid if I invite them to be in the wedding party, they will embarrass themselves, my family and my fiance's family. But I also worry that if I tell them I'm engaged, they will assume I'm asking them to be bridesmaids.

So, Annie, when should I tell them about my engagement? Should I simply invite them as guests and deal with hurt feelings later, or be totally upfront with them and risk losing an already distant relationship? -- A Worried Bride

Dear Bride: It may come as a surprise to you, but these friendships are already over. You don't keep in touch with these two women, you don't actually like them, and your dismissal of someone because of her weight does not say anything nice about you. Since you haven't been speaking to them, there is no reason to call about your engagement unless you wish to invite them to an engagement party.

Dear Annie: "Sad Mom" is concerned about her daughter being infected with herpes. I, too, contracted herpes when I was only 20, and was devastated and fearful of never having a loving relationship. That was 25 years ago.

I had numerous boyfriends and now have an amazing husband with whom I was completely honest before engaging in a physical relationship. Never was I rejected, and these men were nothing but wonderful, understanding and supportive. I have always been very careful and thankfully never spread the disease. Today's prescription medications help keep herpes in check. Please tell "Sad Mother" not to worry. A good man will be there for her daughter. Education is the key. -- No Worries

Annie's Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please e-mail your questions to anniesmailbox@comcast.net, or write to: Annie's Mailbox, P.O. Box 118190, Chicago, IL 60611. To find out more about Annie's Mailbox, and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Quote of the Day

Katharine Butler Hathaway

If you realize too acutely how valuable time is, you are too paralyzed to do anything.

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Carve the Perfect Jack-O-Lantern

Decorate your doorstep with a traditional Halloween Jack-O-Lantern -- get tips on making it look perfect!

More decorating tips, as well as delicious fall recipes, trick-or-treating safety information, and last-minute costume ideas, are all available from the ArcaMax Halloween feature. Visit now and be ready for next week!

-- From the ArcaMax editors