Today's Jokes Plus the Perfect Opportunity for Stay at Home Moms

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Scrubbing Bulkheads I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced: "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Dis- continue all unnecessary work." An hour later, the opinion many of us held regarding our daily routine, was confirmed with this announcement: "Resume all unnecessary work."
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Spooky Pookie There was a case in one hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery... as to why the deaths occurred around 11 a.m. on Sundays. So a World-Wide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11 a.m., all doctors and nurses nervously wait outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. Just when the clock struck 11... Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner.
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The Spell Chequer Owed Two A Spell Chequer Eye halve a spelling chequer, it came with my pea sea. It plainly marques, four my revue, miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word and weight four it two say, Weather eye am wrong oar write it shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid, it nose bee fore two long. And eye can put the error rite it's rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it, I am shore your pleased two no. Its letter perfect awl the weigh, my chequer tolled me sew.
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Praying Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO..." "I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
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