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| Bra Shopping A man walked into the ladies department of a Macy's, and walked up to the woman behind the counter and said, "I'd like to buy a bra for my wife"
What type of bra?" asked the clerk.
"Type?" inquires the man. "There is more than one type?"
"Look around," said the saleslady, as she showed a sea of bras in every shape, size, color and material.
"Actually, even with all of this variety, there are really only three types of bras," replied the salesclerk.
Confused, the man asked what the types were.
The saleslady replied "The Catholic type, the, Salvation Army type, and the Baptist type. Which one do you need?"<
Still confused the man asked, "What is the difference between them?"
The lady responded, "It is all really quite simple. The Catholic type supports the masses, the Salvation Army type lifts up the fallen, and the Baptist type makes mountains out of mole hills." |
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| Advantages Of Being A Woman - If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
- We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her behind.
- If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
- We never have to reach down every so often to make sure we're still there.
- If we're dumb, some people will find it cute.
- We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in.
- We have the ability to dress ourselves.
- We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.
- If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot.
- Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth.
- There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems.
- We'll never regret piercing our ears.
- We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
- We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
- We have enough sense to realize that the easiest way to get out of being lost is to ask for directions. |
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| Coffee Addiction -You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
-You sleep with your eyes open.
-You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
-The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
-You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer.
-You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
-Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
-You chew on other people's fingernails.
-The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
-You're so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas.
-You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
-You can jump-start your car without cables.
-You don't sweat, you percolate.
-You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
-You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. |
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| Waste of Time A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" |
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| Free Interactive Quizzes Test your knowledge of everything from famous explorers to classic poetry with free interactive quizzes every Sunday! Choose from dozens of free quizzes and see how you do against other ArcaMax readers.
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-- From the ArcaMax editors |
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